Its true that I am not able to bring happiness to everyone but please do not deprive me from trying to make you HAPPY...............................................

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Why my feeling wander again...

Argh.. my feelings is messy especially these few weeks.. cannot say happy as sadness overwhelmed it.. cannot say sadness as loneliness overwhelmed it.. what wrong with me... does a lonely scenario really make me feel that sad.. until now my feeling was not even in peace.. actually today i already have fun with my classmates.. as today i go with them to our school lounge... then we played foose ball or something like that.. its so much fun.. it was my first time playing it.. but then.. again is i tagged along not being invited or its our usual hangout.. i walk with them they just talk among themselves.. more worse is after emath.. they changed seat without leaving1 seat for me to sit with them and eat with their tibits.. i been in this scenario again and again... over and over.. what i can do.. sleep.. i really just want to sleep so that i cant stop thinking.. because of this i in secondary school i made it a habit... so why always i have this things happening.. am i really look scary or like rubbish.. alot of question marks.. really very sad.. even when i we going home.. sitting with my classmate i got to start the topic first.. and we can dont talk for couple of minutes.. i not looking that bad or what.. maybe i just look abit inmatured or young compared to them but i confirm much matured in my mind..argh.. what am i saying.. just looked 1 of the classmates blog.. its obviously criticised me with no truth.. i didnt make them stop luaghing.. i was telling them funny encounter and this what i got.. i really hurt now...i really think that is this class best? is it cool? is it nice? i really cant think about that, its scared me.. should i change school or something like that? i dont want that to be happen.. i really dont want...so..should i just continue hang out with them or just start to isolate myself.. i really confused now.. and more worse i still dare to write out.. but anyway no1 seeing my blog.. now is a new environment.. so i just resumed back to my old self? i still dont know... now doing my project so i hope i can get over it and consider it seriously.....

Ended the storytelling at -->10:55 PM
I am just a Fool who want to make who I cared to be happy.
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*_-_MY TRUSTED ONES_-_*

* _ - _ E V G _ - _ *
[==_ Joseph _==]
[==_ IYeu _==]
[==_ Siangyee _==]
[==_ KianWee _==]
[==_ HiuFeng _==]

* _ - _ C o l l e a g u e s _ - _ *
[==_ SiNi _==]
[==_ Justin _==]
[==_ Chariot _==]
[==_ Alan _==]
[==_ Alan2 _==]
[==_ Jack _==]
[==_ Janine _==]
[==_ Umairah _==]

* _ - _ Q i h u a _ - _ *
[==_ LiHui _==]
[==_ Aeris _==]
[==_ Tracy _==]
[==_ Genevieve _==]

* _ - _ T e m a s e k P o l y t e c h n i c _ - _*
[==_ Haikal _==]
[==_ Adriel _==]
[==_ Siti _==]

* _ - _ F a m i l i e s _ - _ *
[==_ MingYi (small bro) _==]
[==_ HweePing (Cousin) _==]
[==_ ShuLing (Cousin) _==]
[==_ Photo Blog _==]

*_-_My Own Creation Of Blog Skins_-_*

[.:: 1st skin ::.]
[.:: 2nd skin ::.]
[.:: 3rd skin ::.]
[.:: 4th skin ::.]
[.:: 5th skin ::.]
[.:: 6th skin ::.]
[.:: 7th skin ::.]
[.:: 8th skin ::.]

Name -> Hu MingFan
Age -> Going 20 this year
Occupation -> Temasek Polytechnic Student
Birth date -> 19 OCT 1988
E-mail -> humingfan@hotmail.com

Never do that on me!!!
*Being looked down
*Being judged just by few stuffs
*Being criticised by friends
*Friends that never know my existence
*Cant do what i want
*Being forced to do what i dont like
*Friends that only care about themselves
*Friends that abandon me

What i love???
*Being praised on my performance
*Be with my friends
*Play with my friends
*Sports & Games
*Idling away
*Chatting
*Having a smooth day
*Laugh with my friends
*Blog Hopping =D

What am i truely???
Okay above listed were just my basic characteristic trait. But i dont think you could know me well from there.
Well, what i typed out now, is surely opposite of what you all think of me.

I am a quiet boy, true enough. But to avoid for friends to feel bored and embarrassed, i start conversation but the likelyhood is low. Force me chat with a topic. I will never say no to a chat.
Too helpful, considered a weakness to me but not to you all, right? Mostly what you all asked i will do it, as long i can. Of course i stil got some unwillingness sometimes.
Still a thrill seeker, you can make that out, and you will see my hyperactive side.
My talkative side? I am a cyber chatterbox.
A very negative boy and no compeition mindset. Motivate me, if not, you can win me as easy as 1.2.3. % being motivated is 20% unless u make me unhappy with u.
Look like blur boy, but can actually know how you feel, sensitive to emotions. Anything stirred, i can feel it.
A very secretive boy, say anything to me i will just keep it. Even my stuffs. I will never say out, dont try to make me say out, cause probably will hurt me afterward or you.
Too easy to satisfied, due to my lives, everythings hard to come by, so i will treasured every little things u gave me. Thanks.
Am i stupid? Thats up to you, but to be frank. I always a lazy person to start off, so no efforts and so, no result. Unless needed if not i wont show out what i know. The most wrong things to do is.. look down on me.
To be honest, i quite an good actor, cause you never know the true side of me, so just know it and deal with me. Thats a friend i really want...

What i want...
*~~Be happy forever~~
*~~Have the N91 phone~~
*Grow taller
*Slim down
*~~A laptop~~
*A own room
*s+uDy r00m
*~~Friends that really care~~
*Family that understand me
*Having a healthy lifestyle
*Get serious on my studies
*Study really hard for my exam