Its true that I am not able to bring happiness to everyone but please do not deprive me from trying to make you HAPPY...............................................

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Lost it..

Hi blog,

Today i just lost myself. Dont know why, my mind keep think so many useless stuffs. Making my mind gonna explode. I keep thinking why am i not being treated as a best friends to others.

Sometime its turned out to be i being left out in the crowd. But i know they not purposely. But how come i just keep think of that. Its true i like to be quiet. But i dont like it if people dont talk to me cause they got nothing to talk yet can talk with others so happily. Its suddenly made me think i been a failure.

I mean, i been with them so long. I treat them the same but recieved the difference. Haiz.. I know i know. Not i wanted to think like that but the brain i having letting me think this way.

I also realized another failure of me. I just cant concentrate, no matter is people talk to me; thinking some stuff; even in playing. My mind just keep think of other stuffs. Obviously its useless stuffs. I dont know what going with me. Although not that senile anymore but i am getting worse.

Just now at downstair having match with Sembawang CC team. I am doing the controling yet i cant concentrate. Its get worse when huat came. Its make me like the useless fellow in the team. I keep think i am useless then when got something to do i just couldnt react to it. Haiz.. Of course thats include the pain i recieved from my foot make me played so badly, but thats not a excuse. I know my abilities i know what i should do or capable but didnt. Its me...

I guess i just making myself useless. Think i need to go hibernate so my brain function well. Dont worry, not like going into darkness again want people to help. I just want to be more useful and trying to be more easy to approached but its really harder to do than say.

Fan Signing Off.....

Ended the storytelling at -->11:26 PM
I am just a Fool who want to make who I cared to be happy.
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Name -> Hu MingFan
Age -> Going 20 this year
Occupation -> Temasek Polytechnic Student
Birth date -> 19 OCT 1988
E-mail -> humingfan@hotmail.com

Never do that on me!!!
*Being looked down
*Being judged just by few stuffs
*Being criticised by friends
*Friends that never know my existence
*Cant do what i want
*Being forced to do what i dont like
*Friends that only care about themselves
*Friends that abandon me

What i love???
*Being praised on my performance
*Be with my friends
*Play with my friends
*Sports & Games
*Idling away
*Chatting
*Having a smooth day
*Laugh with my friends
*Blog Hopping =D

What am i truely???
Okay above listed were just my basic characteristic trait. But i dont think you could know me well from there.
Well, what i typed out now, is surely opposite of what you all think of me.

I am a quiet boy, true enough. But to avoid for friends to feel bored and embarrassed, i start conversation but the likelyhood is low. Force me chat with a topic. I will never say no to a chat.
Too helpful, considered a weakness to me but not to you all, right? Mostly what you all asked i will do it, as long i can. Of course i stil got some unwillingness sometimes.
Still a thrill seeker, you can make that out, and you will see my hyperactive side.
My talkative side? I am a cyber chatterbox.
A very negative boy and no compeition mindset. Motivate me, if not, you can win me as easy as 1.2.3. % being motivated is 20% unless u make me unhappy with u.
Look like blur boy, but can actually know how you feel, sensitive to emotions. Anything stirred, i can feel it.
A very secretive boy, say anything to me i will just keep it. Even my stuffs. I will never say out, dont try to make me say out, cause probably will hurt me afterward or you.
Too easy to satisfied, due to my lives, everythings hard to come by, so i will treasured every little things u gave me. Thanks.
Am i stupid? Thats up to you, but to be frank. I always a lazy person to start off, so no efforts and so, no result. Unless needed if not i wont show out what i know. The most wrong things to do is.. look down on me.
To be honest, i quite an good actor, cause you never know the true side of me, so just know it and deal with me. Thats a friend i really want...

What i want...
*~~Be happy forever~~
*~~Have the N91 phone~~
*Grow taller
*Slim down
*~~A laptop~~
*A own room
*s+uDy r00m
*~~Friends that really care~~
*Family that understand me
*Having a healthy lifestyle
*Get serious on my studies
*Study really hard for my exam