Its true that I am not able to bring happiness to everyone but please do not deprive me from trying to make you HAPPY...............................................

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

All are down..

Hi blog,

Stress and problems. We cant avoid these, dont even say its wont affect us. All my fellow best friends were seriously being affected. I of course 1 of it, being affected by their moods. But something disturbed me even more today...

Last few days i went to play basketball. Was so cool, my best de-stress method. Whats good? I can win!! Feel so good, of course my body got an after effect.. My legs are in pain. Haiz..

Today i didnt even catch a proper sleep. I only sleep for 1 hour then i went for school le. Well, Layteng asked for help over the BMS so I helped her as well for myself over the late night.

Morning reached school is already in a dead state. Cant even get up, by the time i get up. I already saw the poor layteng totally disturbed by the PMNGT. I wanted to help, but she dont let. After the lesson ended, she just leaved the room without even talked to anyone. I guess thats more worse than the last time i did that when my project got into trouble.

So what about mine? I recieved a phone call from dad in the middle of my lesson. He actually asked me and my brothers to go tomorrow to help out at his coffee shop! Cause we already planned to go my grandmother house which is my dad's mother house. Then the lunar 2nd go his workplace. He actually angry when i said those planning. Said what I cant live without mom, i dont care about my dad, Grandmother is not important etc.. Its all bullshit lor. More worse is i cant get angry cause he is my DAD!! Not i planned to go grandmother house but its grandmother herself called to invite us!! My mom said dont even want to visit any relative. I was so unhappy with the words my dad used on me. But i cant scold and neither get angry.

Totally disturbed by the asking already. In the end my dad frustrated said up to me then hang up.
"Dad.. Not that I dont care you.. But its you didnt cared about us in the begginning. I already not used to chat with you already. You leaved us when i was sec 1. How am i supposed to link back the kinship when you didnt put in effort to.."

I agreed, partially also my fault. I dont have the courage too. But dad should tried more than me. I dont know how to say le, its his fault yet i cant get angry. In the end i got to feel the sadness which i shouldnt felt it. Why am i so sensitive to all these. And why i always need to make decision for my family!!! I just third child in the family, not the biggest!!

I was totally engulfed by all the emotion that i was biting and inflicting pain by punching the walls and table. How foolish am I. But luckily i got all those nice friends that i cant afford to continue glum. I rather do it at home.

I cant share the problems with them cause they have all the works to stress about. Unlike me which have done everything. All i can do for them as a friends is smile and play jokes with them. Thats also 1 way which i can temporary leave all my problems behind and think up a solution which benefit both parties.

Getting noisy is already 1 of my way to relax and to play with my friends...

Fan Signing Off.....

Ended the storytelling at -->8:39 PM
I am just a Fool who want to make who I cared to be happy.
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Name -> Hu MingFan
Age -> Going 20 this year
Occupation -> Temasek Polytechnic Student
Birth date -> 19 OCT 1988
E-mail -> humingfan@hotmail.com

Never do that on me!!!
*Being looked down
*Being judged just by few stuffs
*Being criticised by friends
*Friends that never know my existence
*Cant do what i want
*Being forced to do what i dont like
*Friends that only care about themselves
*Friends that abandon me

What i love???
*Being praised on my performance
*Be with my friends
*Play with my friends
*Sports & Games
*Idling away
*Chatting
*Having a smooth day
*Laugh with my friends
*Blog Hopping =D

What am i truely???
Okay above listed were just my basic characteristic trait. But i dont think you could know me well from there.
Well, what i typed out now, is surely opposite of what you all think of me.

I am a quiet boy, true enough. But to avoid for friends to feel bored and embarrassed, i start conversation but the likelyhood is low. Force me chat with a topic. I will never say no to a chat.
Too helpful, considered a weakness to me but not to you all, right? Mostly what you all asked i will do it, as long i can. Of course i stil got some unwillingness sometimes.
Still a thrill seeker, you can make that out, and you will see my hyperactive side.
My talkative side? I am a cyber chatterbox.
A very negative boy and no compeition mindset. Motivate me, if not, you can win me as easy as 1.2.3. % being motivated is 20% unless u make me unhappy with u.
Look like blur boy, but can actually know how you feel, sensitive to emotions. Anything stirred, i can feel it.
A very secretive boy, say anything to me i will just keep it. Even my stuffs. I will never say out, dont try to make me say out, cause probably will hurt me afterward or you.
Too easy to satisfied, due to my lives, everythings hard to come by, so i will treasured every little things u gave me. Thanks.
Am i stupid? Thats up to you, but to be frank. I always a lazy person to start off, so no efforts and so, no result. Unless needed if not i wont show out what i know. The most wrong things to do is.. look down on me.
To be honest, i quite an good actor, cause you never know the true side of me, so just know it and deal with me. Thats a friend i really want...

What i want...
*~~Be happy forever~~
*~~Have the N91 phone~~
*Grow taller
*Slim down
*~~A laptop~~
*A own room
*s+uDy r00m
*~~Friends that really care~~
*Family that understand me
*Having a healthy lifestyle
*Get serious on my studies
*Study really hard for my exam