Its true that I am not able to bring happiness to everyone but please do not deprive me from trying to make you HAPPY...............................................

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Depressed...

I really getting depressed again.. my mind.. just broke down... as what happened today really make me rethink do i really have friends in school again? i was really so sad.. today went to school alone.. as siangyee start school different time from me.. when i reach school.. dont know for what.. i just feel terrible sick.. headache.. eyes pain.. feel like vomiting and body weakened... when lesson start.. i still not recovered.. adn we will required to do project work immediately.. dont know heaven is making fool of me or what.. i am so sick and they just push everything let me do.. a group with 7 why cant they just share the burden.. and again i forced to present again.. all these are ok.. but then i broke down when they just ignored me.. when i came back from toilet as i went to vomit.. they leaved the classroom without help me take bag.. and they just walk past me. its like i was a stranger.. ok.. i dont try to think so much.. when i went out.. they already gone without waiting me.. i really very sad.. as i said before i hate being abandoned.. ok.. i went to library as i really need to cool down and tried to recovered.. i slept for 1 hour plus and just recovered abit.. siangyee came to find me and pass the math table to me.. really grateful school got him.. but unlike me.. he dont have 4 hours break.. so i still remain alone.. then i went out for stroll.. the breeze outside make me feel alot better.. then.. i remembered si ni.. another friend of mine in tp.. i feel so down.. so i smsed her.. in the end.. she also busy cant meet me.. i really think heaven is making fool of me.. why cant just let me have memorable days... i dont know why i just felt more depressed.. when the next lesson start.. i went in first then followed by layteng them.. just me and them but nobody speak to me.. and i went to toilet and saw dennis them.. when i came back.. they sit different place from me.. jiajun and dennis.. am i just too hard to mix with them.. am i such a detestable person.. i just 18 years old.. i so lonely i just wanna cry.. i wanna shout.. until now.. i cant remember any memorable lives i had in school.. i just realized.. what i can think about is my secondary school friends.. thats does it.. i always act joker just to mix with them.. but seem i go anywhere also useless.. argh.. i really way too tired for these.. its really came true after all.. the bad fate.. haiz.. so wish all these could stop.. cant think much now.. headache appeared again.. so i will end here.. bye.....

Ended the storytelling at -->9:01 PM
I am just a Fool who want to make who I cared to be happy.
=========================

*_-_MY TRUSTED ONES_-_*

* _ - _ E V G _ - _ *
[==_ Joseph _==]
[==_ IYeu _==]
[==_ Siangyee _==]
[==_ KianWee _==]
[==_ HiuFeng _==]

* _ - _ C o l l e a g u e s _ - _ *
[==_ SiNi _==]
[==_ Justin _==]
[==_ Chariot _==]
[==_ Alan _==]
[==_ Alan2 _==]
[==_ Jack _==]
[==_ Janine _==]
[==_ Umairah _==]

* _ - _ Q i h u a _ - _ *
[==_ LiHui _==]
[==_ Aeris _==]
[==_ Tracy _==]
[==_ Genevieve _==]

* _ - _ T e m a s e k P o l y t e c h n i c _ - _*
[==_ Haikal _==]
[==_ Adriel _==]
[==_ Siti _==]

* _ - _ F a m i l i e s _ - _ *
[==_ MingYi (small bro) _==]
[==_ HweePing (Cousin) _==]
[==_ ShuLing (Cousin) _==]
[==_ Photo Blog _==]

*_-_My Own Creation Of Blog Skins_-_*

[.:: 1st skin ::.]
[.:: 2nd skin ::.]
[.:: 3rd skin ::.]
[.:: 4th skin ::.]
[.:: 5th skin ::.]
[.:: 6th skin ::.]
[.:: 7th skin ::.]
[.:: 8th skin ::.]

Name -> Hu MingFan
Age -> Going 20 this year
Occupation -> Temasek Polytechnic Student
Birth date -> 19 OCT 1988
E-mail -> humingfan@hotmail.com

Never do that on me!!!
*Being looked down
*Being judged just by few stuffs
*Being criticised by friends
*Friends that never know my existence
*Cant do what i want
*Being forced to do what i dont like
*Friends that only care about themselves
*Friends that abandon me

What i love???
*Being praised on my performance
*Be with my friends
*Play with my friends
*Sports & Games
*Idling away
*Chatting
*Having a smooth day
*Laugh with my friends
*Blog Hopping =D

What am i truely???
Okay above listed were just my basic characteristic trait. But i dont think you could know me well from there.
Well, what i typed out now, is surely opposite of what you all think of me.

I am a quiet boy, true enough. But to avoid for friends to feel bored and embarrassed, i start conversation but the likelyhood is low. Force me chat with a topic. I will never say no to a chat.
Too helpful, considered a weakness to me but not to you all, right? Mostly what you all asked i will do it, as long i can. Of course i stil got some unwillingness sometimes.
Still a thrill seeker, you can make that out, and you will see my hyperactive side.
My talkative side? I am a cyber chatterbox.
A very negative boy and no compeition mindset. Motivate me, if not, you can win me as easy as 1.2.3. % being motivated is 20% unless u make me unhappy with u.
Look like blur boy, but can actually know how you feel, sensitive to emotions. Anything stirred, i can feel it.
A very secretive boy, say anything to me i will just keep it. Even my stuffs. I will never say out, dont try to make me say out, cause probably will hurt me afterward or you.
Too easy to satisfied, due to my lives, everythings hard to come by, so i will treasured every little things u gave me. Thanks.
Am i stupid? Thats up to you, but to be frank. I always a lazy person to start off, so no efforts and so, no result. Unless needed if not i wont show out what i know. The most wrong things to do is.. look down on me.
To be honest, i quite an good actor, cause you never know the true side of me, so just know it and deal with me. Thats a friend i really want...

What i want...
*~~Be happy forever~~
*~~Have the N91 phone~~
*Grow taller
*Slim down
*~~A laptop~~
*A own room
*s+uDy r00m
*~~Friends that really care~~
*Family that understand me
*Having a healthy lifestyle
*Get serious on my studies
*Study really hard for my exam