Saturday, September 01, 2007
Maybe everyone just acting on outside to me...
Hi blog... I don't know why i blogging the second time, no the third time its just that I just want to blog out everything. Maybe, after all i just fated to be loner? I just scolded my friends just now, for accusing me. Right, i not that sick, must i sick until i faint then got people concern me? I got gastric pain for goodness sick.
Why nobody just understand me, why i don't have friends that i ever want. Its like the world crushing on me now, financially, personal, relationship.. Everything!!! I cant believe what i typing now. "Do you wanna go back to your past?" i screaming that in my brain... Yeah, in past i didn't even try to mask my feelings that much and i got so much problem. Yet i now tired of masking totally 100%, being the damn good guys and is totally useless. I am totally tired....
The friendship i get is externally good not internally. How come when i am alone without friends, my mind won't think i am fine and is i am so lonely. Cause i totally dont have a true friend? if not why my mind think that way. Am I talking rubbish? "Just come and beat me up , wake me up and leave me there alone." Freaking lots of sentences just appeared.
So if i want fun, cheer up kinds i could find those friends. But if i sad and i don't need happy but concern, who can i find.
I am tired of always explaining why i not happy about this or that when they keep doing the same things over and over again!!
I don't want MSN concern, i don't want phone conversation. I want friends who could actually came over to my house and care about me!
Yes i am acting childish. I going back to the past. But no matter is past or now. Both aren't me. So who am i? Fan Tearing off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->3:28 AM
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Name -> Hu MingFan
Age -> Going 20 this year
Occupation -> Temasek Polytechnic Student
Birth date -> 19 OCT 1988
E-mail -> humingfan@hotmail.com
Never do that on me!!!
*Being looked down
*Being judged just by few stuffs
*Being criticised by friends
*Friends that never know my existence
*Cant do what i want
*Being forced to do what i dont like
*Friends that only care about themselves
*Friends that abandon me
What i love???
*Being praised on my performance
*Be with my friends
*Play with my friends
*Sports & Games
*Idling away
*Chatting
*Having a smooth day
*Laugh with my friends
*Blog Hopping =D
What am i truely???
Okay above listed were just my basic characteristic trait. But i dont think you could know me well from there.
Well, what i typed out now, is surely opposite of what you all think of me.
I am a quiet boy, true enough. But to avoid for friends to feel bored and embarrassed, i start conversation but the likelyhood is low. Force me chat with a topic. I will never say no to a chat.
Too helpful, considered a weakness to me but not to you all, right? Mostly what you all asked i will do it, as long i can. Of course i stil got some unwillingness sometimes.
Still a thrill seeker, you can make that out, and you will see my hyperactive side.
My talkative side? I am a cyber chatterbox.
A very negative boy and no compeition mindset. Motivate me, if not, you can win me as easy as 1.2.3. % being motivated is 20% unless u make me unhappy with u.
Look like blur boy, but can actually know how you feel, sensitive to emotions. Anything stirred, i can feel it.
A very secretive boy, say anything to me i will just keep it. Even my stuffs. I will never say out, dont try to make me say out, cause probably will hurt me afterward or you.
Too easy to satisfied, due to my lives, everythings hard to come by, so i will treasured every little things u gave me. Thanks.
Am i stupid? Thats up to you, but to be frank. I always a lazy person to start off, so no efforts and so, no result. Unless needed if not i wont show out what i know. The most wrong things to do is.. look down on me.
To be honest, i quite an good actor, cause you never know the true side of me, so just know it and deal with me. Thats a friend i really want...
What i want...
*Be happy forever
*Have the N91 phone
*Grow taller
*Slim down
*A laptop
*A own room
*s+uDy r00m
*Friends that really care
*Family that understand me
*Having a healthy lifestyle
*Get serious on my studies
*Study really hard for my exam