Its true that I am not able to bring happiness to everyone but please do not deprive me from trying to make you HAPPY...............................................

Friday, December 29, 2006

When i lost to fate...

Well.. fate does it... fate win.. loser is me.. the things i most treasured.. relationship... betrayed me.. betrayed... really does it.. Gods win.. they tortured till i surrender.. what for.. i dont know.. but i felt lighten up.. now.. at least i give up.. relationship.. what important in my heart now is mother and myself.. nothing more.. i think through.. i wont care about anyone else anymore.. really wont.. no matter what i did.. they just forget.. and they just remember 1 things.. all my fault.. no matter how trivial the stuff is.. my fault.. then where does what i did goes.. so what for i care.. just now.. sat at playground.. saying the loser's words to the fate.. heaven..god.. anythings... i like mad already.. i almost cried.. dont know why.. i hate being betrayed.. i hate.. i just hate them what i did was nothing to them... and i just being blamed here and there.. what for i struggle for them.. yes.. i being childish.. wilful.. why i cant? i have been consider for people for so long that i dont even know myself.. from small age till now.. nobody actually tried to understand me.. and for them i act here and there.. help them through trouble.. people have his limit.. i also.. i angry.. but no matter whose fault... i apologise.. no matter how trivial the things.. i tried to stay calm.. but why i still wrong.. who unreasonable now.. me or you.. answer from them is always is me.. considerate is over for me now.. its just over.. since i lose.. why i still struggle.. nobody can win fate.. heaven.. gods.. nobody.. unless they not human.. i human... i strive so hard not to be any person.. i just want to be normal.. having normal lifestyle.. having relationships around me and live happily.. its so simple but to me.. a thorn of fresh to heaven.. became impossible.. frienship.. did anyone did things for me through their heart? no.. even tell them help me.. reject is always what i recieve.. but then i still help them.. so.. fate make them did this to me or i bring it myself?.. and also love.. i didnt have a BG relationship.. because i lack of courage.. so blame myself for useless.. but fate make me a like thorn of fresh to every girls... no matter what i did... the girls took no interest.. i can feel that they just want me vanish.. i cant talk to girls.. yes.. everything i want.. was deprived.. even a warmly home also dont have... because.. i envy others.. got father got mother and got lovely sibling.. i envy.. of course.. the gods make it too.. so.. the result of envy.. created by him.. so i left what.. my precious mom now.. ya i mad.. i may having mental problem now.. who cause it.. i dont know.. i see their smilling face.. i just felt more angry... ya.. trivial stuffs.. but to me.. its hurt my feeling.. its just a simple things cant do for me.. its just unreasonable for them to treat me like dirt after what i always treat them...relationship.. a burden to me.. now.. and maybe.. forever.....

Ended the storytelling at -->11:05 PM
I am just a Fool who want to make who I cared to be happy.
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*_-_MY TRUSTED ONES_-_*

* _ - _ E V G _ - _ *
[==_ Joseph _==]
[==_ IYeu _==]
[==_ Siangyee _==]
[==_ KianWee _==]
[==_ HiuFeng _==]

* _ - _ C o l l e a g u e s _ - _ *
[==_ SiNi _==]
[==_ Justin _==]
[==_ Chariot _==]
[==_ Alan _==]
[==_ Alan2 _==]
[==_ Jack _==]
[==_ Janine _==]
[==_ Umairah _==]

* _ - _ Q i h u a _ - _ *
[==_ LiHui _==]
[==_ Aeris _==]
[==_ Tracy _==]
[==_ Genevieve _==]

* _ - _ T e m a s e k P o l y t e c h n i c _ - _*
[==_ Haikal _==]
[==_ Adriel _==]
[==_ Siti _==]

* _ - _ F a m i l i e s _ - _ *
[==_ MingYi (small bro) _==]
[==_ HweePing (Cousin) _==]
[==_ ShuLing (Cousin) _==]
[==_ Photo Blog _==]

*_-_My Own Creation Of Blog Skins_-_*

[.:: 1st skin ::.]
[.:: 2nd skin ::.]
[.:: 3rd skin ::.]
[.:: 4th skin ::.]
[.:: 5th skin ::.]
[.:: 6th skin ::.]
[.:: 7th skin ::.]
[.:: 8th skin ::.]

Name -> Hu MingFan
Age -> Going 20 this year
Occupation -> Temasek Polytechnic Student
Birth date -> 19 OCT 1988
E-mail -> humingfan@hotmail.com

Never do that on me!!!
*Being looked down
*Being judged just by few stuffs
*Being criticised by friends
*Friends that never know my existence
*Cant do what i want
*Being forced to do what i dont like
*Friends that only care about themselves
*Friends that abandon me

What i love???
*Being praised on my performance
*Be with my friends
*Play with my friends
*Sports & Games
*Idling away
*Chatting
*Having a smooth day
*Laugh with my friends
*Blog Hopping =D

What am i truely???
Okay above listed were just my basic characteristic trait. But i dont think you could know me well from there.
Well, what i typed out now, is surely opposite of what you all think of me.

I am a quiet boy, true enough. But to avoid for friends to feel bored and embarrassed, i start conversation but the likelyhood is low. Force me chat with a topic. I will never say no to a chat.
Too helpful, considered a weakness to me but not to you all, right? Mostly what you all asked i will do it, as long i can. Of course i stil got some unwillingness sometimes.
Still a thrill seeker, you can make that out, and you will see my hyperactive side.
My talkative side? I am a cyber chatterbox.
A very negative boy and no compeition mindset. Motivate me, if not, you can win me as easy as 1.2.3. % being motivated is 20% unless u make me unhappy with u.
Look like blur boy, but can actually know how you feel, sensitive to emotions. Anything stirred, i can feel it.
A very secretive boy, say anything to me i will just keep it. Even my stuffs. I will never say out, dont try to make me say out, cause probably will hurt me afterward or you.
Too easy to satisfied, due to my lives, everythings hard to come by, so i will treasured every little things u gave me. Thanks.
Am i stupid? Thats up to you, but to be frank. I always a lazy person to start off, so no efforts and so, no result. Unless needed if not i wont show out what i know. The most wrong things to do is.. look down on me.
To be honest, i quite an good actor, cause you never know the true side of me, so just know it and deal with me. Thats a friend i really want...

What i want...
*~~Be happy forever~~
*~~Have the N91 phone~~
*Grow taller
*Slim down
*~~A laptop~~
*A own room
*s+uDy r00m
*~~Friends that really care~~
*Family that understand me
*Having a healthy lifestyle
*Get serious on my studies
*Study really hard for my exam