Its true that I am not able to bring happiness to everyone but please do not deprive me from trying to make you HAPPY...............................................

Monday, January 07, 2008

Cleared.. Sunshine is back...

Hi blog,

Feel better today. After hanged out with 2 best friends of my life in 2 different timing. 1 is siangyee and well.. another shall remained as mystery. Unless i was allowed to say.

Today early went for treatment, then went to school. But skipped the first lecture yet staying outside. Cause still feeling so low that i scared they talked to me yet i cant reply well.

After the school, i feel so low that i really need to confide to someone yet dont know who to find. Then my mind flashed out that person. But dont have the courage to ask. Then a sms came to say goodbye. So since that person smsed me, i used that chance to request to meet. Actually i was surprised i walked over to the other side of the bridge instead of my usual bus stop. My brain actually telling me not to go home now.

Meet up le we went to buy bubble tea and i was brought to a residential corner. Actually the whole time i was talking nonsense and i dont even know what i talking about. I can feel that still got something bottled up in my mind. But i dont know what is it. I just cant speak up the truth even worse what i still though i being schematic just because i walked over to other side of the bus stop.

Maybe why i wanted a person to be with that time not to confide but just a presence i can feel. Maybe the lonely feel is because i cant sense presence even if a person right infront of me. I lost the sense of life. I wanted to show out my weak side and not a acted strong side. Guess thats made me calm till now.

To that person: "Sorry for asking for your time and yet letting you listened my nonsenses. I guess nothing made sense. I guess i just over exaggerated my feelings. Yup, i not a failure, i not a loser. I just lost my path. Think too much still is my characteristic, but dont worry. Its going to be in a tactical way instead of feelings. By the way, i said i am schematic people, i think i really crazy =P"

Since i lost my path what should i do? Just build a new path. Yup.. No more losing confidence, my confidence level is very low already cant let it lower anymore. Determination, guess need friends helps, by keep pushing me. Motivation, i will try to get motivated. Lastly, focus.. Cant sia.. My brain way too 'advanced'. But its a talent, since i able to do that, i just honed that abilities. Ya.. Easier to be said than done. But thats what my goal now. And always my principle, never break promise, never break my words.. =D

"If i ever lost.. Please guide me back. I not a strong person after all..."

Went to causeway point with siangyee to further lighten up my feelings. I fully though out now after hanged out with him. I not a quiet person after all, its true i dont like to talk. But since i got the abilities to bring laughter, i will talk cause.. I want to laugh too =D But cheeky smile still not my type. Haha.. What i mean is although i like silence, its a silence which i could heard my friends laughter and nothing else. If no laughter, i feel so bad. But i really bad at starting conversation but best at add in words to spice up the atmosphere. So i am a silent crapper =X

This is what i find out after i keep joke with siangyee. Ya, i being quiet its normal cause i usually quiet yet if didnt add in things, its too abnormal, now i know why. So i do show my quiet side its just i though i act to be noisy already. Thanks to siangyee which so called accidentally lead me to 'enlightenment' =X

So now, if i am quiet talked to me. Cause surely is i wandered in my own dreamland again. I must learnt to control my brain.

Credits to Siangyee and the mystery =D

Fan Signing Off.....

Ended the storytelling at -->10:32 PM
I am just a Fool who want to make who I cared to be happy.
=========================

*_-_MY TRUSTED ONES_-_*

* _ - _ E V G _ - _ *
[==_ Joseph _==]
[==_ IYeu _==]
[==_ Siangyee _==]
[==_ KianWee _==]
[==_ HiuFeng _==]

* _ - _ C o l l e a g u e s _ - _ *
[==_ SiNi _==]
[==_ Justin _==]
[==_ Chariot _==]
[==_ Alan _==]
[==_ Alan2 _==]
[==_ Jack _==]
[==_ Janine _==]
[==_ Umairah _==]

* _ - _ Q i h u a _ - _ *
[==_ LiHui _==]
[==_ Aeris _==]
[==_ Tracy _==]
[==_ Genevieve _==]

* _ - _ T e m a s e k P o l y t e c h n i c _ - _*
[==_ Haikal _==]
[==_ Adriel _==]
[==_ Siti _==]

* _ - _ F a m i l i e s _ - _ *
[==_ MingYi (small bro) _==]
[==_ HweePing (Cousin) _==]
[==_ ShuLing (Cousin) _==]
[==_ Photo Blog _==]

*_-_My Own Creation Of Blog Skins_-_*

[.:: 1st skin ::.]
[.:: 2nd skin ::.]
[.:: 3rd skin ::.]
[.:: 4th skin ::.]
[.:: 5th skin ::.]
[.:: 6th skin ::.]
[.:: 7th skin ::.]
[.:: 8th skin ::.]

Name -> Hu MingFan
Age -> Going 20 this year
Occupation -> Temasek Polytechnic Student
Birth date -> 19 OCT 1988
E-mail -> humingfan@hotmail.com

Never do that on me!!!
*Being looked down
*Being judged just by few stuffs
*Being criticised by friends
*Friends that never know my existence
*Cant do what i want
*Being forced to do what i dont like
*Friends that only care about themselves
*Friends that abandon me

What i love???
*Being praised on my performance
*Be with my friends
*Play with my friends
*Sports & Games
*Idling away
*Chatting
*Having a smooth day
*Laugh with my friends
*Blog Hopping =D

What am i truely???
Okay above listed were just my basic characteristic trait. But i dont think you could know me well from there.
Well, what i typed out now, is surely opposite of what you all think of me.

I am a quiet boy, true enough. But to avoid for friends to feel bored and embarrassed, i start conversation but the likelyhood is low. Force me chat with a topic. I will never say no to a chat.
Too helpful, considered a weakness to me but not to you all, right? Mostly what you all asked i will do it, as long i can. Of course i stil got some unwillingness sometimes.
Still a thrill seeker, you can make that out, and you will see my hyperactive side.
My talkative side? I am a cyber chatterbox.
A very negative boy and no compeition mindset. Motivate me, if not, you can win me as easy as 1.2.3. % being motivated is 20% unless u make me unhappy with u.
Look like blur boy, but can actually know how you feel, sensitive to emotions. Anything stirred, i can feel it.
A very secretive boy, say anything to me i will just keep it. Even my stuffs. I will never say out, dont try to make me say out, cause probably will hurt me afterward or you.
Too easy to satisfied, due to my lives, everythings hard to come by, so i will treasured every little things u gave me. Thanks.
Am i stupid? Thats up to you, but to be frank. I always a lazy person to start off, so no efforts and so, no result. Unless needed if not i wont show out what i know. The most wrong things to do is.. look down on me.
To be honest, i quite an good actor, cause you never know the true side of me, so just know it and deal with me. Thats a friend i really want...

What i want...
*~~Be happy forever~~
*~~Have the N91 phone~~
*Grow taller
*Slim down
*~~A laptop~~
*A own room
*s+uDy r00m
*~~Friends that really care~~
*Family that understand me
*Having a healthy lifestyle
*Get serious on my studies
*Study really hard for my exam