Its true that I am not able to bring happiness to everyone but please do not deprive me from trying to make you HAPPY...............................................

Monday, May 26, 2008

Regrettable Decision & Suffering & Its my turn

Hi blog,

24 May 2008

Today I have really did something really silly. Its just an action of my kindness yet I was forced to did something I really don't like, really...

One of my friend asked me to go pray for safety. I didn't really want to care about it in the first place (Was playing basketball at that time), furthermore I hate such stuff.. So I just reject the nice offer. But after that, I think its bad to reject people since that person think of me. Its just offering incenses, I was a Buddhist in the beginning so its okay for me. But the 'nice' offer, turned out to be the 'bad' one..

Everything goes through so fast, before I know it, I was been tricked.. I know its disrespect to say I was been tricked. What I mean is totally opposite of temple stuffs. Its just totally what I hate..

Friends who know me well should know I hate being restricted, I hate being forced to do something which I don't like, I hate following actions which is not from my heart.
Offering incenses is okay with me since I no need to follow any rules and no need others to look over me. Most importantly, my willingness.. But what you know? Its not just that..

What made me angry also when that friend actually used 'forgot' as an answer to my question. I got to forge out $10 for such thing. I was going to save money for my everything yet the start of my saving is to spent on thing I don't even think about it...

I was really angry, yet I got act as fine. Why am I so kind in the first place to agree to accompany that person. I don't want my friend feel so sad being rejected yet I am the one getting hurt over and over again over that friend. Is it paid to be kind? I wondered why..

Not blaming that friend since that person is just want me to be safe, but just that fate always joke around me like that. Forced me to see thing I don't like and do thing I don't like. This happened when I changed my mind for kindness...

If only I learnt how to say no firmly...

25 May

Today was a really tiring day. I guess I might really reached my limits soon. My body was so tore up when I woke up. My brain was the first thing I felt something wrong. Its hurt, don't know its because the heavy training we did from 8.30pm to 1.30am. So tired that I also don't know what to do, whether is to cancel the trip to Sim Lim Square or continue.

After some struggle, I managed to get up from the bed. That's my decision.. After some struggling, I managed to get out of the house. Meet up with siangyee and Reeve, then we board the 960 to Bugis. Totally no appetite, so I just had 1 bowl of Ice Kachang to kill the heat in me. "Where your teammates?" Ya.. I wondered what they doing now when I was out there. Well.. I also don't know how to answer so I laughed it off.

As usual, Reeve will drag us here and there. After some book surfing at a bookstore, we went to Sim Lim Square. After reached there.. My headaches getting into my way. Its really pain whenever I take steps or turn my head around for shops I need. Body was getting my way too when I feel like fainting, which I didn't (All thanks to determination). After some time, my effort goes unpaid. Nothing in return I suggested go Funan to try my luck..

Thanks to Reeve. I further increase the burden of my body by walking great distance from Sim Lim to Funan. Reached that, I already have no strength for items hunting. We stayed at another bookstore read some book. I took the chance to sit down and rest. 7 plus then we went up to see. But I guess its too late, everything closing. Haiz.. In the end, I just spent a day for nothing again..

26 May

Now I am blogging for 3 posts, this last portion. I wanna ask for leave on behalf of my body. I really getting weird. I am dragging my body now and my brain was still pain. But I just hope I can do it. Lets see I got the courage to ask for leave anot. I have a MC with me.. Silly of me to need courage right?

Fan Logging Off.....

Ended the storytelling at -->12:03 AM
I am just a Fool who want to make who I cared to be happy.
=========================

*_-_MY TRUSTED ONES_-_*

* _ - _ E V G _ - _ *
[==_ Joseph _==]
[==_ IYeu _==]
[==_ Siangyee _==]
[==_ KianWee _==]
[==_ HiuFeng _==]

* _ - _ C o l l e a g u e s _ - _ *
[==_ SiNi _==]
[==_ Justin _==]
[==_ Chariot _==]
[==_ Alan _==]
[==_ Alan2 _==]
[==_ Jack _==]
[==_ Janine _==]
[==_ Umairah _==]

* _ - _ Q i h u a _ - _ *
[==_ LiHui _==]
[==_ Aeris _==]
[==_ Tracy _==]
[==_ Genevieve _==]

* _ - _ T e m a s e k P o l y t e c h n i c _ - _*
[==_ Haikal _==]
[==_ Adriel _==]
[==_ Siti _==]

* _ - _ F a m i l i e s _ - _ *
[==_ MingYi (small bro) _==]
[==_ HweePing (Cousin) _==]
[==_ ShuLing (Cousin) _==]
[==_ Photo Blog _==]

*_-_My Own Creation Of Blog Skins_-_*

[.:: 1st skin ::.]
[.:: 2nd skin ::.]
[.:: 3rd skin ::.]
[.:: 4th skin ::.]
[.:: 5th skin ::.]
[.:: 6th skin ::.]
[.:: 7th skin ::.]
[.:: 8th skin ::.]

Name -> Hu MingFan
Age -> Going 20 this year
Occupation -> Temasek Polytechnic Student
Birth date -> 19 OCT 1988
E-mail -> humingfan@hotmail.com

Never do that on me!!!
*Being looked down
*Being judged just by few stuffs
*Being criticised by friends
*Friends that never know my existence
*Cant do what i want
*Being forced to do what i dont like
*Friends that only care about themselves
*Friends that abandon me

What i love???
*Being praised on my performance
*Be with my friends
*Play with my friends
*Sports & Games
*Idling away
*Chatting
*Having a smooth day
*Laugh with my friends
*Blog Hopping =D

What am i truely???
Okay above listed were just my basic characteristic trait. But i dont think you could know me well from there.
Well, what i typed out now, is surely opposite of what you all think of me.

I am a quiet boy, true enough. But to avoid for friends to feel bored and embarrassed, i start conversation but the likelyhood is low. Force me chat with a topic. I will never say no to a chat.
Too helpful, considered a weakness to me but not to you all, right? Mostly what you all asked i will do it, as long i can. Of course i stil got some unwillingness sometimes.
Still a thrill seeker, you can make that out, and you will see my hyperactive side.
My talkative side? I am a cyber chatterbox.
A very negative boy and no compeition mindset. Motivate me, if not, you can win me as easy as 1.2.3. % being motivated is 20% unless u make me unhappy with u.
Look like blur boy, but can actually know how you feel, sensitive to emotions. Anything stirred, i can feel it.
A very secretive boy, say anything to me i will just keep it. Even my stuffs. I will never say out, dont try to make me say out, cause probably will hurt me afterward or you.
Too easy to satisfied, due to my lives, everythings hard to come by, so i will treasured every little things u gave me. Thanks.
Am i stupid? Thats up to you, but to be frank. I always a lazy person to start off, so no efforts and so, no result. Unless needed if not i wont show out what i know. The most wrong things to do is.. look down on me.
To be honest, i quite an good actor, cause you never know the true side of me, so just know it and deal with me. Thats a friend i really want...

What i want...
*~~Be happy forever~~
*~~Have the N91 phone~~
*Grow taller
*Slim down
*~~A laptop~~
*A own room
*s+uDy r00m
*~~Friends that really care~~
*Family that understand me
*Having a healthy lifestyle
*Get serious on my studies
*Study really hard for my exam