Its not closing of this blog. Just that I will stopped blogging.
Anything to tell me can tell me through the tagboard. Well.. I know the result although..
Oh ya.. Don't need to treat me indifferently as its not your fault. Its mine...
This is then 500th post.....
Ended the storytelling at -->8:19 PM
=========================
Hi blog,
Guess now there is no one looking at this 'down' blog now. Okay.. That's not the reason for me to start blogging now. I recently was too busy to even surf the Nets.
Our project till this recently was a successful progress. So now, we proclaimed that we finished our project in last Friday. Its really a day worth to celebrate. Quite unbelievable that we reached this stage.
Up till this stage, I really loss of words to type afterward. Actually people around me are thinking what am I thinking. I believe its just a misunderstood I giving to others. So i guess I will tell my story now..
Actually not I am not in the motive of letting people around me feel guilty when I blog what I blogged this recently.
Its just my thinking and its not your responsibility to change anot. I already know there is too much in difference in me and others. I am just too unique in personality and everything.
Maybe just my perfection-seeking mind in trying to think that everything around me should be what I think of. Yup.. So nobody in fault. Just my perfection cause the trouble.
Maybe you will realized I spoke less now. I wanna to say, I act hilarious, joker or have a sense of humor is just a way of making friends. I am able to make alot of friends but never did I get a friend that I will always thought of. Maybe a soul mate or buddy who will always be each other side to help or play with. The best level I have now is just 'Good Friend'. Maybe watch too much drama so I thought its possible to have a buddy or soul mate for me.
Its just the Fate which bring me nothing when I desired for something.
I just want to say, my true side nobody have seen. What you all see is just the bridge I built to connect you and me. If you got to say who know me truly, its just me.
I will now try to be 'who' I really am. If you don't like it, feel free to tell me. Its true.. I no longer will have expectation now for 'good'. Average is just good enough already.
In past, I act to be humorous as only that way I can make friends. Don't you all make friends by the level of sense of humor they have? If a person that don't spoke much you will be friend with them? Somehow I managed to get that idea and fit myself easily to that situation. So I am befriend-able. But.. I am not that kind of people, I don't like noise, don't like vulgar and totally not into craziness. I just want to be submerged into the laughter's of my friends I am comfortable in.
In past, I act to be so called showing off cause only that I will able to attract friends around me. But I somehow end up called arrogant. But isn't that the only way to let people think of you when they need something? "Hey, who know better in... Oh.. mingfan hor.." Somehow I like that feeling. But I now stopped cause peple around me like people that are humble. Which I am originally. But there is still people who think I am showing off when I am not even trying hard. Its just easy for me to do that. Is that considered show-off? When I heard people say I 'hao lian' when I did something, definitely they don't even know what I am capable of. Now I am curbing my abilities so I look normal in my friends. Even in playing games. The only sport I played all-out is basketball, that's the sport I think I am weak. But due to my mental-strength I always unable to do what I am capable of. But my friends just unable to noticed that.
Why my fellow teammates just don't know my strength... Can't blame, who tell me being the shortest and having weak-mind.
So what should I do? I will just be myself from this moment on. I will be what I like, cool, quiet, humble, unfriendly or whatever it is.. Feel free to break off friendship with me. At least I won't feel guilty of letting you bored when you with me. I always thought of people before me. So I guess its time to think of myself.
The last crazy time I had is memorable. The time when Dennis came down to the school for his presentation and we 4 together stay at the corridor and played crazily. I thanks for letting me to be crazy. Thanks...
This blog is now closed, there is no more chance you will get to know me well. I am Mingfan and thats it.
Fan signed off the last page of this blog.....
Ended the storytelling at -->5:35 PM
=========================
Hi blog,
Yesterday is a great achievement in my progress in the project. Haha.. Went to RP with Siangyee to do project. I know I can't do my stuff alone so I asked him to do project together.
So I met him at afternoon and went to Causeway Point to buy KFC and proceed to RP to eat.
RP is not quiet at all! Even in holiday, thats strange. We find a spot and have our lunch first then do our work.
I really worked the best when someone I know beside me. No matter is disturbance or assistance, I just worked 100% =D So I had a greap leap in my programming. So happy, but still unable to complete.
Siangyee was doing some wiring for his project. VAV card, duct, VA motor etc etc..
See how he work, really hope he in my team. Although he not that clever, he willing to work as much as he can. He is way better than the teammates I have, no matter is thinking or working.. Haiz.. We 2 is sufficient enough to complete the professional level of project I handling now =X
I was in the most crucial point to solve the problem when the light just switched off at 9pm!! >.< No light no mood, so we reluntantly packed our stuffs and leave the place.
This is the 499th post, so the next post I guess its the end of this blog. =[
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->5:40 PM
=========================
I hate to be alone.. But thats the end..
Hi blog,
Slowly, I managed to get used to be alone. Although its the first day, I at least tried to avoid going out with those girls. I cannot be the bad guy, but at least I can avoid getting hopes from them now.
Anyone around me have been a disappointment. I want to think is my expectation too high, but the way I seeing. Its just me the one who lowering my abilities to satisfy them.
These recently I been finding it annoying how people around me works or behave. I just wanna be alone now, where nobody know me or know anyone. I think I getting to high up now.
Thought of closing this blog now. In past I blog, one of the factor is to let others know more about me. Its not just in blog, in real life I been trying my best to show my side.
But to them, its like the memory entered the RAM, once they sleep it will be gone. Again they will do what I don't like. Even more worse, self-assumption of my characteristic.
"I won't get offended by comments, but I will get offended if you say something about me but not letting me know."
"I won't get angry about critcises but don't keep repeat the same thing over and over again."
Haiz.. Say so much for what, even if they know they will still do it isn't it?
Suddenly I come to realize people who understand me the most might only be 2 people. Dennis and Derick. They at least know, like Derick know whats my weakness while knowing what stupid ideas I thinking from time to time. Dennis know my strength and he know what I don't like. This is at least better than any friends I have.
Now its not important whether people understand me anot, I have already stopped pinning hopes on them. Also on the purpose of this blog. I will stop blogging soon I guess, but not the habit. Maybe keep a diary at least to frustrate out what I am thinking..
Slowly, I will be a loner soon. Then maybe refresh again? I wonder.... Now still a mess...
Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->9:08 PM
=========================
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Hi blog,
Haiz.. I want to be cold to prevent hurt by heat. I want to be bad to prevent people hurt me first.
But its seem I am still unable to do that.
"Don't be naive already."
Haiz.. Maybe thats really me. Too naive to do any bad thing. Think can, but do is impossible. Haiz..
Wanna be less active but end up playing tennis with the everyone.
Almost quarrel with Yvonne (Actually wanted) But I just can't. I will want to keep the friendship.. Haiz..
Guess I not suit to be a bad guy. I wanna feel offended, as I know if I can't. People will just do what I don't like over and over again.
I am so lost now. Body still not in a good state. Gastric problem again as usual. Until now I feeling damn sick. Argh... Go sleep liao.. Haiz...
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->9:07 PM
=========================
Hi blog,
Why am I always suffer everything either in wave or one shot. Can't I suffer like normal people does? Why must I always be the special one.
I just said no more things to be happened on me. The 'PSP' matters just come back again as soon as possible before I can even recovered. I am really pissed off. But being sad is more than the anger. I am really disappointed about everything already. I really wanna said:
"What I have is my life. Please take my life instead, I am freaking tired of living already."
Its been long since I will think that way. I don't know who to tell anymore. I just want to blog it out. Anyway no matter who I told to, nobody willing to help.
This is what I learnt from my friends. Maybe being good to them is just a stupid action from me.
Yea, most probably somebody will think : "If don't wanna say, why blog it? Its like forcing people to listen." Cause this is the only place where its bring me comfort.
I can't seem to have anything in my way. No matter is personal or work. Both is not going the right way. I am always the one striving for other people and not otherwise.
I will just treat my friend as I want to. No more sacrifice my time and energy for others anymore. I am disappointed with the fact of how others treat me back.
Sick and tired of my life. How am I going to have my energy for the future. Everything crashed in my life again. If this continues, I really don't know whats going to happen to me.
I really find comfort in Cyber world...
Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->10:34 PM
=========================
Hi blog,
Haiz.. I wanna blog about what happened these recently, or actually I should have blog about what happening on everyday. But too bad.. I fell sicked cause of.. exposed to sun -.-
On Saturday, I was in the sun for 7 hours. Minus 2 hours eating in the middle. Yup.. Haha.. But I still enjoyed the process. I played with Dennis in the morning then afternoon with my big bro =D
Haha.. He came my school to play cause its free. He also called along 2 of his friends. So we played for alot of times. Haha..
My big bro was so pro lor. Bully me like hell, haiz.. Haha.. Enjoyed the time he sent me back home. Haha.. Travelled in car was always the best. Haha..
Reached home then I knocked out le. Sleep for straight 15 hours to the next day. Wake up due to serious sore throat. No voice at all sia.. Get a shock of my life. I thought I was just sleeping? I didn't even touched any oily foods. Grr.. Then slowly I developed fever and flu. Wa lao.....
My Sunday..... I wanna do things I want lehz.. Haiz.. No choice got to rest and see Yi play his game -.- Boring day it is..
I doesn't feel that well, haiz.. All my energy gone. Totally don't want to work at all. Haiz.. So I went to slack with the girls. Haha.
My day just ended so boring. If I don't get well, so is my life =X
Yea.. My life is a mess, really hope nothing much happened already. Misunderstanding my friends already a great sins to me. I can no longer think well. Haiz.. Its pretty one sided now. Don't know what to do now.. Haiz....
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->9:28 PM
=========================
Time to escape and back to reality.
Hi blog,
Yesterday was a very random day. Suddenly Yvonne asked me to meet up with Dennis. Quite surprise at her action but I agreed cause its nice to meet up Dennis =D
So we went to Toa Payoh after school. Layteng can't follow again, sad..
We went to Foodcourt eat chicken rice then we went to Mos Burger for Ice Milk Tea (What I just mentioned Dennis do it differently.)
Its hilarious to see Yvonne keep bickering with Dennis. Haha.. Poor Dennis, I seeing a free show =D
We keep chat on all kind of things. We chat till I finished my Large Ice Milk Tea. Haha.. I always drink the slowest among people. Haha.. Thats why I ordered the largest so to let us stay more longer. Hee~
Then I and Dennis don't feel like going home early. (Its 9.30pm) So we sat at the train's platform there chit chat. We chat on more personal stuffs or our interest. Haha.. Life philosophy and whatever it is. =D
We keep chat till 11.30 then we went home. Haha..
I feel so much better at sharing things now. I guess really got influenced by Yvonne, Layteng and Dennis. Haha..
Huat asked me wanna play basketball at afternoon. He said I am avoiding them. This really make me disappointed. Definitely is Choon huat asked Derick why I not coming and he just said this. Why not him the one who asked me and its Huat.
I just really disappointed at friends who just want fun and no trouble. Infront treat me like friends but in heart is nothing but a toy. But not really sad already cause I am used to it.
I answered Huat by saying I am busy instead of avoiding. Lied without battling my eyelid.
Even if now I got it all wrong, I don't really feel bad as they always get me wrong all the times...
Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->3:52 PM
=========================
Hi blog,
These few days was busy............. Playing -.- Then work hard at night, cause still need to do project, can't stop =X
~*Freak... I sprained my left wrist!!*~
Yesterday was being 'nominated' to listen a talk. Lol.. Was inside sleep, listen music, slack. Not even 1 moment I was listening. Haha.. Its about how youth contribute to future.
~*PAIN!! Wa lao.. Twist abit pain liao. Don't know when I sprained it -.-*~
Must chiong my project already. Since we back to track, we been doing at so efficient speed till stopped dead speed. Haiz.. Must push liao, if not dead.
~*Woot.. Mom just passed me some bandages to warp around my wrist. Does help abit...*~
Haiz.. Now everything coming till an end liao. Hope its a good ending we recieving. =D
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->9:30 PM
=========================
Hi blog,
Times just flew without waiting. I been in happy mode these few days. My schedule are totally packed from Monday to Friday. No time to let me anyhow think (Or perhaps only during travel time.) Anyway, lets just recap some of the stuffs I did.
24 - 25 July 2008
Just a perfectly normal day. Study, went to lab and slack. Perhaps do some work. (Actually is none =X) But at night is totally different thing. I didn't went back home, I was called to go do the designer of a birthday card. Lol.. Its Michelle birthday the next day!! Woot!! haha..
So after we duped Michelle go back home, I with all the girls -.- like Yvonne, Layteng and WeiLing. They actually decided to go back school to do the big and marvelous birthday card. But in the end they ended up go to Wei Ling's house since its very near.
Its practically my first time to a girl's house!! Oh my god.. Please no dirty thoughts, we are purely just working hard for another... girl.. Okay.. Perfectly normal please.. =X
Anyway, all the girls are crazy, I help them design the wordings and the arrangement. But I did nothing =D Cause I am the designer not the worker. Hehe.. But I did something. A video specially for Michelle. Haha.. Its a movie clip and its hilarious. Lets talk about it later..
As worked till 10 plus then we go off cause Yvonne meeting someone. So everyone go off then.. Haha..
Didn't sleep at all to finish the movie. So tired, went back to school still need to rush on the video cause some shot are taken at school. Lol.. Practically I am the director of everything we do on both day.
This following parts are interesting. Firstly we need to finish the last part of the card, birthday sentences for Michelle and my videoing. During this part, Michelle was left alone in the lab without knowing where we went to.
After that we need to dupe Michelle away while I continue on my job, Yvonne and Layteng went to buy flower and after that is me and Nadiah went to buy cake. Everything must be done without letting Michelle know it. So its quite exciting.
I almost finished the video but Michelle suddenly back with Weiling as the things are done. ~Turn off the monitor as fast as possible~ Phew.. Lucky me.. After that I did the last part by having my monitor at lowest lighting so can't be seen from side. Hehe~
I with Nadiah go buy the cake after I done the video editing. Went to the Sugarloaf located on our school since its nice. Lol.. (The short distance is also another factor) =X
After that we told Weiling to bring Michelle to the bench behind the lab. After that I will surprise her with the video I did.
Oh my god.. After the video and present the Birthday Card we did. Everyone actually cried (Except me.. I not cold blooded, I am a guy mah!!) Lol.. So touching.. Then we sit outside there to keep chit chat and take photos. Haha.. Let me see.. Yup, we sit there till 4 pm then we went back to lab to relax.
I glad that Michelle enjoyed the video I did and our 'project' done successfully. Haha..
26 July 2008
Today is another day for my tennis training. Which I very excited for it. But the most of the thrilling feeling I have is because I going to have my gathering organised for so long to be happened on later on in the evening!! Haha..
After my tennis session, I played tennis with Dennis. Haha.. He actually agreed to play with me when I asked. So happy. Tennis is so fun!! We keep play and play and play. Of course we will get tired. Tennis is a really tiring game. Even tiring than Basketball. Haha.. But happy times always short. I was called to go off due to Yvonne almost don't want to go which I need to rush home ASAP and meet her to prevent her from not going. I organised for so long of course I shall not allow such things happened. Haiz.. Of course its not a perfect gathering as Dennis, Layteng and He Cheng did not come. Which make me quite sad, but well.. We still have fun with Yvonne, Jolin, QiaoFeng and JiaJun. =D
We went to Riverside Indonesia Restaurant (Yup.. The famous restaurant which been on Ads during Tv shows.) I tell you, the foods is nice, cheap and very filling!! Must GO!! Haha..
Then after we had our sumptuous dinner. We brought Jiajun around to view Singapore cause he came here for 2 years plus yet didn't really went around in Singapore. (Qiaofeng is totally opposite of him, he know Singapore more than me!!) We went to Merlion there to take pictures and see fireworks but that day actually don't have fireworks so.. Too bad.. I haven see a firework in real life. Hope to see one =X
Then we went to Esplanade to rest since we been walking all the way from places to places without buses. Then we thought of go play pool, but this idea don't know at what time being rejected. After awhile, Qiaofeng and Jiajun went back home first left me with Yvonne and Jolin (Why am I always left alone with girls >.<) As usual, my job is Cameraman, so I keep took their crazy pictures. But I am actually damn tired. I didn't rest well since thursday. (Never sleep at all for thursday and slept for just 6 hours for friday and still got the strain from Tennis in the morning) My eyes are closing but I manage to stay awake. =X
I reached home by 12.30Am. Woot.. So tiring.. I pop a pill and went to sleep. Already planned to sleep 24hours straight.....
27 July 2008
My phone ring in the morning!!!! AHHHHH My sleep!! Being a light sleeper, I am damn easily wake up by any noise. Haiz.. See the message by Yvonne: "Hey, lets go cycling at East Coast Park today with Me and Dennis!" -_-
Wa lao!! They very random sia.. Suddenly plan this thing. I so tired sia, so I reject. But she send a message again to persuade me. I no longer can sleep well liao -_- Therefore I agree so I can sleep soundly. Too soundly that I didn't wake up at the time cause I forgot to set an alarm for a time. =X Rush out of the house since I am late but I told them to change the time to 3Pm so I won't be late. How I know I overslept in bus!! Too rare!! Lol.. By 1 stop only. But the time is already near 3 so I guess will be late few minutes so I contact them.. How I know I am still the earliest to reach the place.. Cause they thought I will be late (Wa lao.. Don't know that I am very punctual de mehz.. )
Too bad for them, I being the earliest de.. Hehe.. We went to Parkway Parade's MOS burger to sit down and chit chat while waiting for Layteng. Lol.. She also coming.. Thats cool.. Haha.. She reached at 5 plus. Can't blame her as don't know why Yvonne so random.. Then we went to East Coast Park..
Yvonne said its late so don't want to cycle liao. -.- I dressed for outdoor activities sia!! Grr.... Lol.. Okay la.. Its still fun to be with them. Yvonne brought my favourite item.. Camera!! Hehe.. Cameraman time.. Took alot of pictures of them playing in the sands and everything. Haha. Yvonne suggested we go to a Hawker centre in the East Coast park by walking -.- Its very far sia.. We still reached there ultimately. (Amazed..) Lol.
But that place is crowded!! No seats.. But I not worried about that, I more worried about what foods to buy =X Its so big with so many same kind of stalls. We leave the seats finding to Yvonne and Layteng while I and Dennis go scout for foods.
After walking rounds, we ordered a Samba Stingray, Kangkong and Prawn Omellete also 1 big plate of Fried Kway Teow. We also ordered 20 Satays. Kao.. I think there goes all my workout for the week.. Saturday eat alot liao now still eat so much. >.< Fat!!
Its fun eat in this way cause its my first time. Haha. Although not all the foods are nice (We don't know which is nice >.<) But its still filling, we still ordered 1 more plate of Hokkien Mee. Lol..
After that, we walk to the nearest bus stop to go home. But actually just to go to another bus stop to go home. Its another long distance but well good for digestion. Haha.. While walking towards the bus stop, Dennis being bullied by layteng. Haha.. Alot of funs la.. I forgot to take the pictures. Sad.. >.< Maybe I am too tired already. I need more rest....
28 July 2008
Today no need to go school!! =D But got to see doctor.. Grr.. So tired.. I actually overslept!! Oh my goodness.. I rushed out of the house as soon as I am prepared (My preparation speed is fast so not a problem) But I am still going to be late. I walk damn fast towards the station. Then when I reached Novena I practically run all the way to NSC.
Its a long distance towards that place. (15-20 minutes walk) I used 8 minutes to reach there. ~Panting~ Lol.. Know why am I so rush? Cause the department which is Clinic C, I going close at certain time which I don't know what time. If its close I will not have a MC for that day!! =X Luckily I only late for 13 minutes. Not bad.. I was actually thought I am going to be late for 30 minutes. Must thanks for my speed then =D
After everything, went back home to rest awhile then went for a haircut. Haha.. Just cut for fun cause I have nothing to do. Lol.. Even auntie winnie also say I bo liao, my hair still look nice I go cut. Well.. Its been a month. Okay ma.. Haha..
Now at home resting.. Wanna go play basketball de but blog till this time. This is definitely the longest post I have.. Haha.. Okay le la.. I will do some serious workout to burn fats instead of basketball then.. =D
Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->3:50 PM
=========================
Hi blog,
This the new blogskin I just did? Spent one day to finish it. Think I am getting better. Can use a faster speed to finish nice blogskin.
Yup.. Quite daring as this time I used myself as the theme. Hope you all don't mind seeing me everytime you visit this blog =X
A fresh start I hope so. But its seem just escaping from problems. Throw every problems behind me and start anew.
Today don't know what to do, hope got something for me to do.
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->9:03 AM
=========================
Hi blog,
This recently my mind still in a whirl.. The only way to avoid me from lost in my own world is to work. Haiz.. Work and work and work. If not will go bonker =X
The time I will lost in my own world is like during times when friends not around like travel to school. So these few days I been doing work while traveling. The efficiency is high cause I can concentrate rather than lost focus.
But in school where I don't follow my friends to other places still make me lose my focus. Work and work and work but somehow still will lose myself. But well, able to grab back myself and back to work. Thats a relieve.. =D
Today almost late, I just wanna reach as punctual as possible. But almost late if I didn't alight 1 more stop earlier and run towards the Lab.. Haiz.. Early in the morning exercise liao. Think will be energetic for the rest of the day~
Okay le.. Stop here..
Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->9:31 AM
=========================
Hi blog,
After blogging earlier on. I totally collapsed -.- My teammates work so hard on their part but this time I sleep.. Haiz..
Too tired already.. I slept for 4 hours straight. Keep sleep and sleep. Actually also because I don't know where to start for my project. Haiz.. Must buck up!!
My feeling actually still not good yet. I mean not that good. My expression not in a good shape. I know where the problem lies.. On my secondary school friends' side..
Whenever I think of them, I though of their selfishness. Friends are meant to help each other, yet they just heck care as they don't wanna get themselves into trouble. They just want have fun and no trouble.
They probably think I am acting pity.. Actually is I can no longer face them. Trust them to be my best friends but not. Yet I don't want to spoilt the moods.
Thats why I avoiding them. They been calling me down for Basketball or see Basketball matches.
After friends out of my sight, I will just automatically feel sad. Sulky face. I remembered just now has an incident that I helped someone, she thanks me but I didn't smile back. =X Thats might actually let her think I actually not willing to. Haiz.. I really miss Siangyee now.
Only when friends are around I will at least control that stupid face of mine...
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->8:44 PM
=========================
Hi blog,
Not on purpose not to blog. Just that my energy was drained away these few days. Its physically tired. Which actually I like it. Lol.. As this show I leading a normal life for the moment.
On the Saturday, I went for the Tennis course. Was quite fun as I got to team up with a guy this time and finally know someone. Lol.. But nothing is forever. Lesson ended in 2 hours time.
Loitering again, then finally I don't wanna waste my time. I went to an empty court which got a training wall. I at there train and train and train despite of the strong sun. Damn tired...
Then the guy I know with his female friend asked if could share court. Lol.. Actually no need as me since I didn't book. (I know its going to be empty anyway)
Trained for 2 hours then I went home as I need to work for my mom. Quite unlucky for my mom. Already work so hard to support 4 childrens. Then still hired problematic worker -.- Haiz.. So no choice, I am the back-up worker.
After playing Tennis for so long, i left only half of my energy. Kaoz.. Lucky not much crowds.. (Its bad actually as its mean bad business =X) went home at 10 afterward. =X
On Sunday its also a day I need to work. Lol.. This time I rested enough to charge!! Went to work at 6pm =X lol.. Wanted to go early, but keep lazed at the crouch watching television. =X
Having loads of fun on that day, as I got the energy to joke. Lol.. Then I bet with my mom if the number of eggs I cooked finished by the day, she will buy me 1 tennis Racket. =D
I win!! Haha.. But she pay only 50 dollar for it >.< Lol.. I keep joke with my mom that I am the fortune god for her as always I am there, the business rose. Lol.. Yesterday is a damn busy day. Thats why I predicted the eggs amount. Haha.. I got very good business mind. =X
Okay le.. Thats the end of the last two day. Want more? At evening I will blog about today ^^
Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->9:13 AM
=========================
Hi blog,
Today is like a confession day, the bottle of secret is opened now.
I am a kind of person which think must be fair. Since I being a listener, must give some respect back. By sharing too...
So I shared what I think should be shared. But, I just cleared most of the items inside the bottles. Indeed feel lighter.
Very coincidence saw Hui Ying at the station. I was like still wanna choose which side to go. After choose the side I comfortable then saw someone familiar. So I walk towards it. Then she noticed me and get up to greet me instead. Lol..
So long never see she so friendly. Lol.. Haha.. Then we at the train keep chat. (While got squeeze like Sardines -.-) Lol.. We keep chat how well is MP vs SIP.. Lol.. We keep compare and compare then still compare. Haha..
If wanna high score is MP, wanna have sure pass is SIP. Wanna have fun for sure is MP, wanna have fun at knowing new friends is SIP. Wanna slack is MP, wanna earn money is SIP.
Therefore.. Its really hard to say.. Hmm.. I still prefer MP than SIP =D But... Not the lecturer I with now!
Happily conversations one after another. Today is one of my happiest day ever.. At least for the past few months...
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->10:33 PM
=========================
Hi blog,
Actually just kind of sudden impulse of wanna blog. Well.. Kind of remembered someone who actually said something I know.
"Bottled up too much in you, sooner or later will explode." I know what this mean, I know this for long time and I used this sentence to persuade others. Kind of funny isn't it?
"Don't persuade him le, he a kind of person that he can persuade others but never himself."
I could like to add on. "I am only move when my other me agreed."
Thats just me, my brain is not a thing I could control. Haiz.. Its complaining to me its need rest by letting me suffer from stupidity.
Its raining heavily again. Like yesterday.. When I said I want to play basketball, day turned dark. Its so purposely. I reached the court, big rain comes.. Its like telling me its the end of my basketball.
I was so angry but I determined to challenge by betting its will stop within 10 minutes. And so.. I stayed in the rain for 10 minutes and somehow its stopped.
Amazed.. Mayber its they wanna challenge my heart. Whether I could stay on the court or down to the cold bench forever..
Was doing shooting practice. Since I realized I am a instinct player, means I can't concentrate. Yet I do that, I also miss. Yet I don't do I made it. Its like I must totally think something suddenly and shoot. Not like a pre-made ideas or thinking and then shoot. Kind of confusing isn't it?
Too profounding.. Haha..
Sometime really hope someone is there to accompany me. I willing to do that for others why no one willing to do for me. Haiz..
I actually really wanna say out what I think. But my words just trapped within my heart. I still can't open my heart to anyone. Now I need someone to force open my heart.. At least thats show your concern...
Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->1:50 PM
=========================
Hi blog,
Today didn't went for schooling as I need to go for my check up on my skin. Well.. Its quite tiring in the morning although I wake up later than usual. But its just get so tired.
I actually overslept, the alarm went off. I wake up, to see its 9am. This is the time I should wake up, but I know I set it that time just in case I fall asleep again. I know I will do that, so I went to sleep but scared will wake up late. Yup.. The next moment its 9.46am. Cool.. I am going to be late if I take my own sweet time. =X
I reached early as usual. The first thing I need to do is blood test.. Oh great.. Needles again.. Lol.. After that was a long long wait for my result to come out and the consultation after that. Took me 1 hour plus to complete all those. Lucky is that the pharmacy isn't that much of people. I get my medicine as soon I went for my toilet break.
Went to Marsiling and go for Hep B injection at Woodlands Polyclinic. Needles!! Haiz.. This time is quite pain for don't know what reason. The pain keep tinger around till I reached home. Thats fortunate.
I think I going down to shoot some hoops to prevent my skill deprove. I know I no long interested in basketball anymore. I giving up now so to prevent me to see any human ugliness anymore. Friends and everyone there is not nice as I thought so.
But I still wanna shoot some hoops, at least its an exercise to me other than compeitives actions. Yup.. Thats a good bye till I break the chain that locked my basketball's heats..
Its indeed sad and painful.. When I can't play basketball with others..
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->2:40 PM
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Hi blog,
What is bottled up feels like? What is wanted to say, but the words just can't come out of the mouth? What is life which always goes on the bad side and never to be good?
Yea.. I experienced all that? But I still survive.. Lets praise me =D Haha.. Okay la.. Started with a lame one. But well, these recently alot of things happened. Which just caught me in surprise. Bad or good? Actually is both. Its like 'bad' is always appeared in my 'most happening' case and 'good' is a rare visitor.
Lets leave out the 'bad' and see the 'good'.. Yesterday was given a surprise by Dennis who took the initiative to ask me out. Well.. When I recieved the call and he said wanna ask me out. I guessed Yvonne or Layteng is around. Yup.. Its both of them, they went to meet up while I was at home rotting. Not saying Dennis never took the initiative, but he not a guy who will ask people out. Thats him.. Haha..
So they called me at 7pm asked me out. Thats pretty late.. But well, at least can free me from the 'suffering' Its like nobody at home. So its actually really 'suffering' =X
Can't blame them, they thought I will be tired after my tennis session. Thats why.. But its still a good thing that they actually concerned about me after the session. But if they actually called to ask.. I could say yes earlier and no need to suffer the boredom at home >.<
We went to Lido Entertainment centre to watch Hancock. Its a pretty nice movie with touching scenes behind and hilarious 'happening' in the beggining. Will Smith is a really good actor. Haha.. Touching scene or hilarious stuffs. He can do it all.. Unlike 'The Legend', this movie is alot nicer.
Haha.. But Lido is a really old movie theatre. Yet still so many people, which I don't understand. Ya.. Like buying tickets, we almost late for the movie due to just buying the tickets. Cause we in the wrong queue and we don't even know that. I queued for 'Online booking' instead of ticket booth -.- They actually set 3 counter for that instead of the normal ticket booth which for us to buy tickets. Quite stupid isn't it? In the end alot of people got to re-queue for that which included us. Haha..
Today I stayed at home again rotting. Nothing to do. Not say my project is completed. But I am ahead of the schedule I planned. But my model is not even 10% completed. Haiz.. I so hope we could just get everything done. Even the materials was not sent over. Why is adult so unefficient. Am I too fast for them or too small for them to care. Haiz.. Whatever.. Life for me always bad.. Poor people who stick with me..
Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->4:48 PM
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Hi blog,
This recently, I spending my time well. Happy stuffs is what with me. All the bad stuffs I just throw away back from my 'RAM'.
Yesterday meet up with Dennis! Haha.. With Yvonne and Layteng. Lol.. But before that we need to wait for Dennis. So we keep crap and some photo taking. Lol.. Then meet up with Dennis and went to KFC. Lol..
We keep crap and crap and crap. Nothing but crapping. Then we produce 'Noise' Lol.. Haha.. But time is always short, Layteng leaving. I also in rush, therefore I asked Yvonne and Dennis to accompany me to IP Zone to buy a new cardigan.
Why am I in rush? SiNi called me that evening and asked me to overnight at Macdonald. So I agreed to it. But due to some reasons, I give up going. Which I don't wanna to go into details.
So tired now. Wanna sleep.. Lol.. Today is friday, well.. Happy day.. Tomorrow is second day for Tennis session. ^^
Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->9:25 AM
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Hi blog,
"Mingfan, you finally smile!!" Yea.. I finally smile.. Not fake, I really feel better nowadays. I don't wanna let myself down for too long.
If you ask me why? Cause angry is only for short period of time. Its impossible for me not angry with my friends for so long. So left my sadness, then having friends there that who already know I am feeling low. They cheered me up although never even ask me whats wrong.
So today they actually let me laugh and joke with them. Yea.. Perhaps back to normal already.
Went for shopping today instead of project. So I took the opportunity and went to 77th Street and bought a cap. This cap ahz.. Spent long time before I bought it, cause I am a hat 'noobie' Never wear before a cap properly. Haha..
So...

Thats how its look.. Chosen by all the girls. Not by me. Lol.. My fashion sense is not bad at all. Just always lack of judging ability when buying stuffs. =X
Tomorrow its 'Sport' day.. So.. hope I get back to normal. More active way.. Yup.. Thats me..
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->10:08 PM
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Hi blog,
Trying to let myself smile infront of others, but indeed its really hard. Everything I make up, tell me its futile.
Now I just wished to stay quiet. I wanna rest already. I wanna cheer up as much as possible. But if by my own willpower. Its really hard..
Today is really a tiring day. I finally started on my project programming, thus the large energy consumption..
Was offered a secret job by someone which will be paid. (Its legal and simple)
The problem is I must juggle between my FYP and that. Well.. I rejected it in the first place, but he pinned high hope on me. Well.. I just think he is lazy to do for his friend.
Okay le. I wanna continue to do my project.. Thats all
Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->8:09 PM
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Hi blog,
After all the problem.. Don't even know if I have friends beside me to support me anot. Not because nobody encourage me. (Since I didn't told anybody yet) Is whether they got even help me anot.
Its seem the friends I have at basketball court have done nothing at all. Should know my situation yet keep tell me play basketball. Its like telling me to probe my injury more deeper.
Have no one to tell my problem. Mood getting heavier, making me so lethargic. My brain can no longer concentrate at doing more than 1 thing. My mind will keep wander back to this matters. My work is on held now..
Why must I always care for friends. Why such thing happened is not a stranger.. I already lost all the mood for basketball, my desire, my everything.. Was facing a decision to give up basketball or not.
Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->7:45 PM
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Hi blog,
Why am I need to suffer. Why I am needed in this world!! Why am I always get tested. I just want to lead an ordinary life. Why I need to face all kind of ugliness in human kind. Why when just my life getting better, its get back worse. I really can't take it already.
Basketball.. Is a game where balls run around the court. I shoot one ball, which scored and hit on a bag which placed near below the ring. A PSP was inside, which was discovered spoilt after the lights off.
After 1 day, the holder of the PSP asked money from me. Its said its my fault. Please.. Why is that my fault. Who can tell me? Who can control how ball moved.. Please where is the moral.. Just because no money then just desperately ask push blame to others so to get money?
Why must I face human's ugliness which I thought only in TV drama.. I seem can't stop facing everything which normal human never experience. Why must I face all these things.. I really want to rest, really want to.
I can feel that I am losing myself in every moment.. I wanna scream, I wanna use all my strength. I want to be exhausted. I want to rest.. I already can't take it.
This goes on and another thing happened. I will be dead.. Permanently...
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->12:40 AM
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Hi blog,
Really no chance to blog yesterday.. Cause I am tired =X Lol..
Yesterday was so hurry that I just anyhow blog. So now lets get into details..
I joined the Tennis Begginner course in my school. So this coming saturday I got lesson already. Told to bring our own racket, so I thinking lucky my house got one which keep stored at dusty area. Therefore who also think that my brother won't use it.
How I know when I asked, he said he need it -.- So coincidence.. Yea right.. I need it from 9-11 he need it from 11-1 -.- Thats soooo.. Argh.. Just reached home, therefore I haven bath yet. While still in school attire, I immediately find people who got the racket. So Jeremy have one =D Thats so cool.. Haha.. But he lived at Marsling.. Sianz.. Lazy to go sia, but no choice as today I might not free. Therefore yesterday is the only chance.
Went to Jeremy house to get the racket. He crapped with me so much that I didn't take my leave when I got the racket. So I just treat him to a bubble tea as my thanks for his racket. Haha..
Then I wait 911 and who knows that the 911 didn't come at all for 40 mins -.- Wa kao.. I am so fed up that I walk to the station and catch any bus that come. Since all go to interchange. Zzz...
Thats the reason why am I so tired.. Imagine wait at a deserted bus stop with no single souls around (Perhaps some cars only) for 40 minutes? Its not eerie but damn bored then slowly turned to exhaustion. If I still continue wait, don't know its 1 hour or more than that. Haiz.. I therefore blacklisted that number. Its always famous for waiting damn long for a bus. Really 'damn long' -.-
Now reached school. Therefore going to slack awhile since my teammates not around. =D
Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->9:24 AM
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Hi blog,
Sianz.. My bro need the tennis racket when I need it. So sianz.. Now need to go my friend house to get it. >.< I am so tired sia.. Haiz.. Lol..
When I don't need it, the racket at home. Then now I need it, he also need it -.- Kaoz..
Later then blog.. If still got chance.. =X
Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->7:52 PM
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Small small TV room in lab..
Hi blog,
Today is a funny day.. Due to some problem, we got nothing to do for 4 hours. So.. I decided to watch my drama series which I have no time to see. Its the Heroes Season 2.
What funny about this is, this action attracted crowds. Lol.. Layteng watch with me, then followed up by Michelle and Weiling. Lol.. In the end our working place is packed with 5 people watching show on my Laptop. Lol.. Even teacher also stopped awhile to see what we watching. Haha...
Well.. Days is slowly getting better but stop as soon as possible. Haiz.. So fast we stopped track on our progress. Due to the inefficiency of the school and lack of equipments. >.<
Okay la.. I don't want to spam my blog with boring post. Hope tomorrow have funny stuffs =D
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->9:03 PM
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Hi blog,
Today really very unlucky. On the earlier post, I said how many wrong decision I made.. Haiz.. Its continued all the way to the end of the day >.<
Reached school was prepared to go library. But was surprised to see Yvonne back to the lab. Well.. Layteng was not around already. So I decided to stay back. Cause I know I can't learn my programming at the lab. I cancelled my booking for the study room. Thought I made the right choice, but actually wrong.. Cause I can't learn it in the end..
Then after school. Thumbprint can't work don't know for what reason, then after that history repeated again -.- Choose the wrong side of bus-stop cause me lost two 23 and then 1 packed 69 -.- I wanna cross the bridge then got stupid people block the ways.. Kaoz.. >.<
Haiz.. Still got ma? Got ahz.. I planned to skip dinner and eat something small like fruits. Then come back home nothing in the fridge -.- Zzz...
Haiz.. Forget it.. If I still say on, tomorrow is going to be a bad day again....
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->8:21 PM
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Hi blog,
Early in the morning got problem liao. Haiz.. Got serious delay in the morning due to constipation. Then 969 ran away right infront of my eyes more worse its three 969..
Last night was already suffering from constipation, though that maybe in the morning I could clear the disposal.. But nope.. I sat at the toilet bowl for like 15 mins and nothing come out. Wasted my time. Cause I wake up just nice, so any delay would cause me late for the school. So I rush out the house as soon as I am done.
Lift is the next bully, stuck at so many floor for don't know what reason. (I living at 8th floor for goodness sake which the highest is 12th) Then the 969 just ran off right infron of me. I was just few second late >.<
Due to panic, I forgot about that 969 have increased its amount of bus to 2-3 mins per bus. I cross the road and board any bus which bring me to interchange. Yet.. Within 3 stops, two 969 just drive past me. I still pray for that not to happen.. Zzz..
Reach interchange which already regretted for such decision based on my instinct I ran for the 168 queue. Which as I felt, the bus came. So I board it. *Phew* I know the speed of 168, surely lose 969 but well.. More or less its the same, perhaps just taking 969 would bring me faster to school..
I met a friend in 168, which amazed me the fact he lived quite near to me. Just that he preferred 168 thats why I never see him before.. Well, when 168 reached 1 bus stop which 23 will pass by he tell me to alight cause Safra's bus stop is crowded. As that bus-stop is the central of alot of buses. Students normally alight there to board either one of the 3 buses that goes TP. Well.. So I heed the advice and alight to see the School Shuttle bus. Okay, first time.. Haha..
Reached school around the time which I predicted. Well.. My 969 still faster =P Haha.. Okay la.. Stopped here, cause waiting for some downloads therefore I blogged. =D
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->9:06 AM
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Hi blog,
Today I don't know what goes wrong with me. I woke up late is 1 thing, vent out my true feeling to my teammates then vomit in public. This is so freak out.. Why am I sicked again..
I woke up late as in I didn't wake up at my desired time. Of course didn't late and I reached as what I expected. =D Well walking towards the train, I been thinking "who am I"? Find it weird? Ya.. Where got people ask himself who is he?
While walking towards the MRT station, teammates asked about my whereabout and reprimanded me for not telling them I not going to school today. I DID!! This make me really angry, whenever they go out, they don't even inform me. Yet they dare to reprimand me. Scolded them yet after that feel bad and apologise. Haiz.. Is it because I always get angry awhile then back to normal and still into the extend to apologise to the culprit. Thats why I am so weak? I scolded them through SMSes as I wanna to retain the last bit of honesty I should give since I unable to do that in real life. If not I sooner or later will be a total hypocrite...
After apologise and get their understanding, I switched off my phone to prevent they make me angry for nothing again. Not make me angry, is just scare if they said something I don't like again.. After recieved the good news from the Doctor which said my white blood cell counts back to normal. I am relieved and they put me back to the medication again.
Accompanied my Mom to see dentist for a denture installation. Well, she indeed look nicer with them. Haha.. But for don't know what reason, I felt sudden discomfort. I feel nauseous then giddy followed by whole body weakness. Though its the medication side effect again as this happened often. But its was quite serious. After that, I vomit.. In public.. Sianz.. I keep endure not to vomit, do anything to prevent it happened. Haiz.. I wanna run to the grass and vomit, at least don't dirty the place. But when I wanna do that, the grass area seem miles away from me. Before I took another few steps... >.<
Haiz.. Eaten nothing much other than Garlic bread. So I really don't know its the medicine or the bread. Hope its the bread, if not I need to go see doctor again. No money already.. Sianz.. Hate myself for having such illness. Cost a fortune...
Rest at home for the rest of the time. Yup.. Thats it.. Haiz.. Why can't I get free from emotional attacks.. Sad >.<
Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->9:05 PM
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Hi blog,
So tired >.< Lol.. Weekend is no longer enough to let me rest fully. Haiz.. Sleep for so long still feel tired. Aiya.. Don't talk about bad stuff, lets talk about yesterday.. =D
28 June 2008
Woot~ Lol.. I met up with Dennis at Causeway Point!! Haha.. Well, we met up for 2 main reasons, apply the POSB GO! card and catch the movie 'Don't mess with the Zohan!' lol..
Haha. But really 'happening' sia.. First is the amount of people in the bank, its almost can't walk or walk out. So how we manage to go in? Well.. I got Dennis infront of me =X Lol.. Secondly got my Mom 'tricked' to DBS said we can apply through there. But we can't after I queued for so long >.< Then after walked out the bank which contained more than 100 people or maybe 200. We went to get tickets first cause we going other place, later no tickets (pretty impossible cause the movie was on for 1 week already.)
Bought the ticket for 3.10pm at 12.20pm. Lol.. Plenty of time =X So we went ahead to Marsling first cause thats the nearest POSB bank I remembered. Actually not really sure where is it? I anyhow walk, well luckily my navigation instinct always worked. We only walked wrong direction for once =X Lol.. and we found it.. Haha.. The queue is not long so its quite fast.. But thats where the 3rd 'happening' came.. Due to another miscommunication with my Mom, I was stunned at the news I need my mom when applying this card -.- WA KAO!! I am the main male lead in this trip for applying the GO! card!! Why Dennis is the one get it!! >.< Tio laugh by Dennis all the way.. Grr....
Went back to causeway decided to have our delayed lunch. Still feeling sad from not having the card I want >.< Lol.. (I add this sentence for fun..) We went to Long John Silver, but due to the amount of people in Causeway Point every moment, anywhere also crowded. We decided to go to Horizon Food court first, we saw Qiao Feng!! Haha.. But we chat awhile only then leave le, cause firstly is no seats secondly is his girlfriends around we don't want be gooseberry. Haha.. After continuously walking around, we decided to go another food court which is the Banquet. Well, surely there is some seats but don't have the foods we want. Haha..
In the end we back to our Long John Silver and had our lunch by waiting for around 20 minutes for seats. Lol.. We keep joke and crap around. After that we went for some window shopping, cause we have something on mind of what we want but no money. Lol..
Went to the cinema outside and sit at the Banquet there which we able to see trailers from the Screen and chit chat. Spent alot of time talking about school works and movies. Lol.. Then finally the time is up we went ahead with the movie. Haha..
'Don't mess with Zohan' is really a very hilarious movie, its damn extreme. What I mean its very exaggerated till you sure want to laugh. But very 'dirty' also, keep talk about sex. =X Nothing censored just the talking so the most probably its NC16 only. Haha.. We laugh all the way till the end. Haha.. If want laughter, 'Don't mess with zohan' is the next choice after the 'Kung Fu Panda' XD
After that we thought of going home already but then I saw Giordano and I went in to buy jeans since my mom been complaining the ratio of my shirts and pants is 20:1 =X lol.. True enough, always when I go buy clothes, shirt always what I see. Then when I finished shopping, normally is 3 shirt 1 pant or no pant bought at all. Lol.. Got 1 time even more funny, my mom give me money to buy pants. Then I went ahead and bought 3 shirts and 1 jeans again =X Almost kanna hacked by Mom.. Haha..
So this time I stuck myself with the cheap jeans displayed in front. Picked 2 and go try, Dennis also went to try on 1 of the jeans. Haha.. I picked 2 because I want to know which size I am and of course its the 2 design I wanted. Lol.. That's show how many time I bough shirt than pants. LOL.. Unfortunately, both size I picked is not the size I should get. I saw Dennis holding one of the design I wanted so I asked him what the size he holding. Its the size I probably should get so I get his and tried. Lol.. My waistline is same as him!! LOL.. the bamboo sia.. =X Joking.. But he so thin how come we shared the same waistline. =X Haha.. I am slimming down XD
Lol.. After decided to get what jeans we want, we went ahead to pay, cause I paying for Dennis therefore our bill add up near to 100 dollar, then the staff said I should get another 13 dollar item to make it 100 dollar for a free membership card. Lol.. So I went ahead to get another.... Shirt =X haha..
In the end, we still did some shopping but not on sport equipments. Haha.. Happily went home afterward.
I went to play basketball. But don't know why, my knee and wrist and so itchy that I totally can't play well at all. Scratch till red liao still itchy. Zzz.. Shooting accuracy decreased till 50% -.- Wa kao.. I even lose in the Bullet game sianz.. More worse is by luck. >.<
Haha.. But never mind, lucky my knee and wrist is not that worse yet. Just that I don't know what thing irritated me till so itchy. Haiz.. Poor me...
Back to home and watch some videos my bro bought it. Watch until fall asleep in the crouch. Haven bath yet, so when I wake up I immediately go bath then.... Watch again =X Haha.. Then went to sleep at 3 plus. =X
Well.. So long never post such detailed blog. Cause this recently whenever I want to blog, I am so tired to do so.. Especially yesterday got so much funny stuffs, thats doesn't make it a boring post. Haha.. Okay le.. Rest time again.. Tomorrow intended to stay at home after getting a MC. I want to study my programming in peace tomorrow. I know I sure can't do it when the lab is so noisy XD
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->2:53 PM
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Hi blog,
What am I wondering? Well, yesterday have quite an heated discussions with Mr Lim, then I decided to adopt a tactic in the meeting to prevent any disrespect showed to my supervisor. Agree to what that stupid supervisor said. =X Haiz.. He always the one make decision even though he keep say its our project we could do it on our own. Bullshit. He is my third person I hate to see in my list. Lol..
He ahz, very hypocrite. He actually wanna scold but he just raised his voice while smiling. Where got people want to say something he disagree by smiling then raised his voice. Haiz.. Think of this make me hate him even more.
Never mind him, as long he agreed and I able to do it. I won't even want to reject his idea already. Whats more its my original idea which I reject in the first place. Zzz..
I keep thinking alot of rubbish this recently as I said earlier. Well, 1 of it is the true side of a friend when you always with him all the time. Yea.. Even I was influenced and showing what I wasn't =X Opposite... Haha..
I not fit to be a captain or leader. To be more specific, I was more like an strategist or advisor. Lol.. I give order if was asked not when I needed. I give ideas to help people not to help myself. I been doing the wrong things in the period when I with my teammates. If I used a correct manner to do things, perhaps things might changed. Haha..
Who want an clever advisor, I am always the right choice =P Lol.. So boring now, in school. When I feel boring now cause I know I gonna slog out my guts to rush out the programming teacher want. Haiz.. So frustrated...
Tomorrow meeting Dennis to watch a comedy movie!! Hope that allow me to rest as much as possible so to let me go on a longer road in my journey =X
Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->8:58 AM
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There goes the schedule again..
Hi blog,
Haiz.. Why can't I have a smooth trip in whatever I do >.< The supervisor again nag on the thing which he don't know at all. Haiz.. Then change our thing again and again making me very frustrated. I wanna talk back in the meeting room but the gastric killing me. Make me shut my mouth all the time. Was going to depend on my teammates to talk and discuss but they just at there agree with what Mr Lim said. -.-
Then now he want to meet the Siemens sales representative to discuss again -.- Our group budget also the lowest for don't know what reason. We doing the most difficult project yet we being ill-treated -.-
I really hate this kind of teacher which only care about his 'face' If he got the ability I still don't mind but he totally don't have. Wa Kao.. lol.. I hope got such lecturer that even if don't have the ability but willing to do his best to help. Not help for the sake of needed -.-
Well life is always not perfect but mine is everything not even good >.< All Yvonne fault, keep say me black life till my bad luck come back liao.
Haiz.. I feeling so hopeless now. But I not going to do nothing, I just continue to study my programming so when no matter what method we use, I am able to construct it out =D So hope my teammates got the same thinking...
Nowaday I can say I no need blog in home le since when I reached home my laptop 100% got snatched away >.< Lol.. So now I will be blogging at school therefore every post is 1 day late. =D Hehe~
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->8:51 AM
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Hi blog,
Missing for like 3 days or 4? Well, I am either too tired due to playing or suffering if not is my computer was being used by my siblings.
My desktop in my house spoilt. Haha.. Well, by how my small brother played, of course its spoilt. =X So now is 2 brothers bullying the owner which is me -.- Force me always sit at living room watch TV while I can actually blog or do something I want >.<
Tired also a reason why I didn't blog like the last sunday I went out with I Yeu, Kian Hui, Alan, Cai Le and Jack. Janine gone missing again!! She keep 'put me plane' >.<
We went to KTV as the birthday girl or so called wanted.. =X We have alot of fun singing especially the part when Alan sing.. Haha.. Really can be a singer. After that we went to New York New York to eat our dinner. Say about this is quite hilarious, I am the one indirectly suggested to eat this. Cause I asked Cai Le whether she eat that before? Then I somehow triggered her desire to that since she didn't. Seeing her expression I guessed so, well thats why we went to. Haha.. We played the 'Guess the Number!'
I now blogging in school, therefore not going into details of what we did..
Yesterday played Basketball as I very frustrated over personal stuffs.. Haiz.. Mind full of rubbish now. Played quite well, love the feeling of scoring now. I realized I am thinking the wrong way, I am a instinct creature which I cannot concentrate. I must think of other thing then I can score in. Like previously Lyesia and the gang make me angry, my shooting accuracy increased till almost 100% cause my mind thinking of shuting their mouth. Yesterday, is because I thinking of the 'rubbish' Lol..
Sianz.. I must be emotional to score.. So uncool >.< =X
Oh ya, almost forgot something big and bad.. On monday I went for a check-up and they realized my White blood count droping below average. This caused me sore throat and feeling weak. My immune system is down and I need to take Antibiotics for a week to gain back. But in the meanwhile I must not stay close to sickly people if not I will be infected easily. >.< A fever could kill me. Sianz.. Hope this week will be over as soon as possible. I have stopped my medication as told now the itch coming back. So sad.. Am I fated not to be itch-free? Sadness...
Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->8:41 AM
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Hi blog,
Yesterday back to home was still not feeling well. Therefore went to sleep as soon as possible. But still its at 11pm. Haha..
Sleep till 10am then went to Auntie Winnie house for a haircut. At there got I Yeu accompany. I Yeu went into crazy mode or rather to be said is Hyperactive mode. Actions more than words, he still bet to us he won't talk or mumble any words or sounds to be heard from him. Well.. He did.. which amazed us, but he lost when he wanna walk out the door. Why? He knocked on the door frame which he shouted: "Ah!" LOL!! We all laugh at his stupid reason for losing. Haha..
Went to meet up with Derick, Joseph, Kian Hui, Jeremy and Choon Huat to have Botak Jones!! Haha..
Yup, its the famous Western food stall which should be a restaurant but don't know why its a stall in coffee shops. Well, its available in alot of places. Prices is high (Not more than 15 but not less than 6.50) but the portion is really big. If you not a big eater, never even order a Large Set, you might not even finished a Regular set. Haha.. Got alot of variety and its really nice. So trust me, its worth it!! =D Haha..
Anyway, all bloated as usual. This time we already learnt our lesson and all buy regular. Lol.. Still bloated. Thats so 'Oh my goodness' Lol.. Haha.. Walk our way to Jeremy house which is more than 2km. Lol.. Well, its a very good way to digest all the oily foods. =D
Went to his house play PS2. Winning Eleven!! Haha.. Why? Cause all of them gambled on Soccer -.- So they wanna stimulate result through that way. Well, all result we played out doesn't really let them happy though =X Haha.. I and Joseph are the only 2 didn't gamble. Honest man wor, then whats funny? Joseph keep say the result out but will never the result Derick they all wants. Lol.. Kanna beaten up alot of times XD
Till 7pm so we suggest go back home. Which is what I want, go back home and sleep =D
Tomorrow shall go celebrate Cai Le's birthday!! Haha.. Well, its abit too early. Lol.. But we still wanna have fun. This shall be the last gathering.. So must have alot of fun. But I think will be abit boring again, cause I really find it hard to think up activities for these people. Everyone got their own likes and dislikes. Combine together its totally nothing they like in common. I mean too little already. Haiz.. Really hard on me. Want give surprises also don't know how. But well.. Just say I am lazy to think actually. Haha.. Heck Care!! When I am free then I shall think nice one out for them!! =D
Tired already, guess its time for me to go sleep =D
Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->9:16 PM
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Happy birthday Mom!! & Suffering..
Hi blog,
18 june 2008
Today, its my Mom birthday!! Haha.. In the morning, first thing I do is wish her happy birthday. I am the first one!! Haha..
Happily go school, then here come the suffering.. I really dying sia, my body becoming weaker and weaker. Though afterward I went for basketball =X
Played very well in shooting but was kind of Solo.. All because of my friend agitated me to be on fire mode -.- Heck care what my friend said I just shoot in the balls and shut his mouth up. Anyway my performance is way better than him. Better than anyone that time since my score is higher. Not I want to be arrogant, but don't ever look down on people when you don't have the ability to.
Stop all these stupid comments, continue on my story... After the lights off, I rush back home and have a shower. After Mom back, we board Big bro's car and went off to a place called Chomp Chomp Food centre at Serangoon Garden.
Having alot of foods, mostly spicy foods. Lol.. My favourite in the end =X Haha.. Anyway we all bloated, almost cannot walk out of the food centre to my Big Bro's car. Haha.. So happy, we have a great time eating. But too bad the timing cause my Mom need to work. If not we should have more fun =D
19 June 2008
My days are really getting bad to worse, my gastric pain is not going off and feeling getting more and more complicated. Haiz..
As for yesterday.. During the basketball session...
I been trying to keep quiet, and I confirmed even when derick came I didn't talked and crap that much. Yet, in the end they all still forced me to criticise them. They just keep do what I totally don't like when I showing them that I serious trying to do soul-searching.. I wasn't the kind of people who keep talk and talk and talk. I just want to laugh with people's joke or at my own joke. I does not want to talk if its not about joke or work. Freaking friends just want to make me angry and force me stab people.
Why the people who know me well, no.. Its super well is not my secondary school friends but my Polytechnic friends.. I didn't told them anything, I keep things and they able to figure out themselves.
But for secondary school friends, I showing them what I am yet they forever can't get it. Why is that happening.. I really don't know how to deal with my friends over this side. And now.. I even have trouble on the other sides. But mainly is because of me. Haiz..
People who know my good side are only Poly friends, people who know my bad sides only Secondary school friends.. Who the one really know me. I now need listener, I have bottled up too much again.. Haiz... Hate myself for that....
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->8:30 PM
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Hi blog,
My brain is still low in power. My patience, my thinking, my mood. Conclude everything, its just not me!!
I have been acting a person that is me but not me. I don't know when this started. Normally every action you did naturally, you won't even cared. But for me, I did every small action with thinking. Its like trying to make the best scenario to happen. I got to consider to prevent thing I don't want it to happen.
Getting more and more crazy. I been doing some soul-searching, still unable to get the factor what made me like this.
This like getting back to the past. The horrible period I suffering. Its so scary.. Haiz.. For now I am looking perfectly normal. But I already have no one to confide except this blog. But.. blog is still a blog, I still unable to confide 100%.
Lets talk about school works. Today is perfectly normal, perfectly 'normal'... How long have it been since I really feel happy. Who am I? Haiz.. When is the day I want will come...
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->9:30 PM
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Hi blog,
Today is a really tiring day, not because the work (or maybe part of it) but myself. My body really letting me down. Gastric pain is the major problems nowaday, suffering from absurb pain with no reasons is the most terrible stuffs.
The pain started when I was in bus, then getting worse when we went to have our early lunch. I almost paralyised due to the pain I suffering. In the end is yvonne and layteng do the 'Waitress' for me that day and help me serve the food to my table while I am groaning silently. =X
But happy stuff is my project is slowly progressing with the starting of the model layout. But.. Come to think of it, we haven asked our flicked-minded supervisor whether its correct anot. Haiz.. Please, just allow our project on track >.<
Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->10:48 PM
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Hi blog,
Its been such a long time I since strive to do finish something. Haha.. This few days I concentrate on trying to make out the model image for our project.
So tired, its been long since like that. Haha.. Overnight do my project, then sleep all the way. Then do project again.. Haha.. The moment when I finished it, its feel so good. A satisfaction feeling. Haha..
Now since I finished the drawing, just hope we could start as soon as possible. XD
Now.. Let me relax and sleep for the last 6 hours and wake up for the school >.<
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->10:17 PM
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Hi blog,
These recently really a very tormented period. Not emotional but physical now.. So sianz.. Having gastric problem but its totally different. Feeling nauseous, feeling giddy and sharp pain. Really can't take it!!
Haiz.. Nothing much except the above.. So tired.. A week end just like that, although we had some progress. But its doesn't really make me feel safe. I was quite scared, but how am I gonna do.. Just hope all going to be fine.
I was thinking if anyone here know how to cook? I mean western foods that sold in foodcourt or canteen.
I need help on something important about that... >.<
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->8:21 PM
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Hi blog,
So many days I had missed to blog. Not say nothing to blog, but just these few days I been feeling weak. Last few days its more worse. Lets talk about the details..
On monday I went to NSC for check up as I previously said. A frequent visit to NSC is compulsory. Then I was told to go for Hepatitise B Immunisation injection cause I did not have mine and since the medication I have cause damages to my liver so its important..
Was told by my teammates (Two Missy) I have the option not to come.. So.. I took the free time for injection. waited for few hours and finally its my turn. Well, its took alot of effort to know the dozage I need (For the nurse).
Then after that I went for Siangyee Birthday celebration!! =D We went to watch the hilarious "Kungfu Panda" !! Its really nice!! But.. before that I feeling nauseous already with dizzy spells. Haiz.. Really spoilt my mood and appetite for 'Fish & Co.' -.-
The next day evening, the same thing happened. Nauseous and dizzy spells. Today morning still have the feelings with my back pain and headache. Really terrible, I was thinking if the back pain is the Kidney problem. Was quite worried but just hope everything fine.. While the two missy went to scout for materials. I was asked to take a rest.. So good of them... As I always said, they are really good as friends!! =D
But didn't really took the opportunity to rest but study for my project. Hardworking.. >.< Lol.. ZunZun come 'disturb' me which make my mood better and so I helped with her little request. A 'Death Note' Mobile theme.
So tired now, my energy really all drained away.. Haiz.. Hope all these gone tomorrow. Meeting Dennis tomorrow for dinner!! Haha.. Yup.. Thats all =D
Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->9:35 PM
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Hi blog,
Planned to sleep from friday to sunday. But don't know why, 1 message woke me up and I can't go into sleep anymore. My body feel sleepy but my brain active. Haiz..
Nothing to do at home, so bored. I don't feel like going out as I just feel like sleeping. Its make me so bored now. >.<
Yawn~ But can't sleep -.- Haiz.. Hope I can go sleep now >.<
Tomorrow going to have a gathering with my cousins!! Lol.. Its the first time quite anticipating =D
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->4:49 PM
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Its just so hateful.. & I DONT CARE!!
Hi blog,
05 June 2008
Today was a really bad day. Its just a disaster. Having to hear comments from a lecturer who know nothing. Lost in a compeition with no contribution given. All add up make me soooooo sad >.<
Yesterday went to play badminton as we need to wait for quotation and school purchasing duration. So in another words, I got 2 weeks with nothing to do. So.. We have fun then.
Then we realized our supervisor booked a the badminton court slot after ours!! Means he know we playing. Although don't know whether he is purposely anot, he called us when halfway when we playing and said want to meet us. From the badminton court to end of the engineering school is like.... 5-6 busstop?
Okay never mind about that, before I stepped into the room, I recieved a message from Siemens saying they could help us with the set up and everything. As in they could assist us!! Its a piece of good news!! But whats next made us in 'tormented one hour' Supervisor think its not a good idea just because he himself won't use it. He don't know anything at all yet at here said so much really make me angry.
Know what? He said he running late as he got something important to do. Yea.. Badminton, he just ushered us to leave instead of trying to say more on it. All the time I see him notice the time on his watch. Thats the kind of person he is.. Haiz...
Really making me so saddened that I can't concentrate on my games later on. I feel lethargic, then no performance at all. I told myself I want to be more serious on it and do my best by showing what I got. In the end i didn't, was a burden.. Hate it... Although I made my last contribution by snatching the ball away from the opponent in case they scored it if not we could have lost. Thats what make me feel good and thats all. Haiz.....
06 June 2008
Today went to school with dampened spirit. A hope we managed to get a grip on gone again. How sad would that be? I think thats the reason I was being sent into deep nap after I finished the design for our model. Did my part at least before I slept =X
After 3 hours of sleeping I was being pulled out of my sleep and went to ITAS eat. Then we went to find our Lab Supervisor to ask for advice on the stupid idea our supervisor keep insisted on.
After 1 hour of lecturing, we cleared our mind. Why should we follow an idea by a ignorant fellow. Our idea is definitely better than his why we gave up? Yea!! Lets get back to the original plan then!! Woot..
Thats what we decided and our mood back to high. Cool.. But now, we need to settle on how to convince him on doing that by showing him how stupid his idea is. XD Bad isn't it? Lol.. We are already sick of him, really.. Didn't know my Care Person which also the Supervisor of my project is such person. Making me really disappointed.....
Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->8:50 PM
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Happy Birthday Alan!! & We got the hope!! & We lost.. & My ear!!
Hi blog,
This is a straight three post which I choose to type out cause its special to me those days. =D
31 May 2008
Before I begin, lets just say happy belated birthday to Alan =D Haha.. his birthday on 1st of June and of course, he not free on that day (Busy man =X) So, 31st is what we decided to help him celebrate. We went for Ice Skating!! =D
Who with me? Alan, I yeu and Kian Hui.. Haha..
Went to Kallang Leisure mall, but with a real bad start. The day actually start raining, how its affected us? The bus stop we taking is some distance away from the Mrt Station -.- Thats bad.. So, no choice we took Cab. Which another bad stuff, the driver actually don't know where the place -.- More worse he actually keep scold us for don't know. What the heck, its his job not mine. Can complain nia.. Haha.. Don't let those stuff bothered us, lets continue.
Reached Kallang Leisure Park but as drenched. >.< We like madness gang, run into the mall. Haha.. So funny, imagine 4 guys run into a mall drenched and somemore still screaming =X
Went walking around before we decided to go in for Ice Skating. The reason is because its expensive and not really worth it compared to Jurong side. But in the end we stil went in. haha..
Its $18.50 in total for 2 hours, but the environment is nice. Unlike Jurong, that place spell not nice and look old. Lol.. Thats make it worth it I guess. Lol..
Its really wonderful!! Haha.. Its my first time and I already know how to skate! Lol.. All thanks to my experience in Roller Skating =D Lol.. Having so much fun with the rest of the people, we not very good but we skate well =D I and I yeu as the best skaters over there teach the other 2 to skate. Haha..
After that we went to Far East plaza to have Jap combined with Western style foods. Haha.. Why we choose that shop? The reason is because on the first Fund Raising gathering we planned to go there, but failure in finding this shop ended up in Sakura Thai Chinese restaurant which the foods is nice.
Then we went to swensen to have our delicious Ice Cream =D Lol The queue is soooo long, we like waited for near 30 mins. Cause of our stubborness, wanted to be indoor instead outdoor. =P Haha.. We ordered Giant Earthquake and Fries. Slowly enjoy.. Haha.. Having so much fun in that day. So happy, went home straight after our dessert. =D
02 June 2008
Its so tired early in the morning. As our project have no progress really make me so lethargic. Haiz.. Went to Sim Lim square by 11am to see our cashcard reader this idea is our second back up if the RFID plan failed. But the second backup since to meet some hiccups. Thats really bad...
After that we went to Siemens to find our saviour. Lol.. Abit exaggerated but its true. If not because of Jiayi, the staff who helped our senior before agreed to help us, we surely don't know what to do.
After alot of discussion, we really glad we finally can start... 2-3 weeks later -.- Haiz.. All thanks to the school efficiency. So whats now.. Although its hope, we can't start make us worried. Haiz.. Really hope we could start, so I could feel better...
03 June 2008
I been attending a 2-day Workshop of 'Up Your Service' College. Lol.. After these 2 days, we will recieved a certification. Lol.. Its recognised, thats why they dragged me into.. Well its quite fun, I mean the author Ron Kaufman in the video lesson. Haha..
After that I got to rush home for changes of clothes and back to Toa Payoh. We been saying we will lose not by skill, but disqualified due to late. We almost got that due to our late king, Leong. But can't blame him as its really too far for him. I am quite lucky cause I being dismissed early.
Reached that was shocked, as its was too much people than I expected. As the shortest player, I really very shy =X
Match started after waiting awhile, I am so nervous in the begginning, but once I entered the court as after I sub in 1 player of mine. I felt so calm and played quite okay. Not too bad but not too well too. Not really happy as I didn't scored much and I didn't went into berserk mode (Which is On Fire). That mode make me go crazy on scoring only which increase my ability in scoring and thinking. But its really solo which I must restrain myself from doing that. If must win by that way, I rather don't participate. Leong wasn't at his form too, we lost 2 match in the end.
So sad.. My accuracy is not bad but perhaps because the number of attempts. We lost in size and confidence level. We should be performing, but too bad. We actually having one player already injured in the first place was sub away after some time. Being the tallest player and its gone, we lost the match real quick. Too bad..
Going for thursday so called Loser Cup.. Lol.. Hope we can win =D
04 June 2008
My ear something wrong? Haiz.. Its Heat.. Perhaps cause I didn't had enough sleep caused it. Surely its not stress, so what trouble its caused? Its so pain and its cause dizzy spells. Bad enough?
Its the last day of the Workshop, the lecturer we had today is really a lot better one. At least I don't feel sleepy when he trying to teach. Lol..
Reeve came to TP, so I went to find him after my workshop and we went to town. The stupid ear hurt so much which caused me really very tired.
Actually.. From the way I am typing this last post, its getting more and more shorter. Cause I am really suffering pain from my ear and dizzy spells.
Lets just get into the points, went to Funan Mall to see games, then go find out the Awon Korean Restaurant for Siangyee and lastly go guitar shops to see guitars.
Okay.. Really cannot take it anymore, photos uploaded tomorrow then.. XD
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->10:19 PM
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Hi blog,
No mood to blog sia.. Dont know why.. Got alot of things happening but.. really too tired.. So just wanna say.. Blog next time =X See you and Thanks for coming XD
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->3:32 AM
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Hi blog,
Once brain get enough rest, its work perfectly normally! Haha.. I will not be disturbed by personal thinking now. I want to be back to normal so I could lead them well.
Haha.. Although today we went to a company to ask for advice didn't turned out to be a good thing. But we got 2 idea to work on it. Just hope one of it works..
Haiz.. I hope I could bring them more hope, no.. Should have more motivation, they already think the battle is lost before we even start. I don't want them to think that way. I want each of us to motivate each person. Even if its nothing to do, we should do something beneficial instead of just stay there chatting.
Don't blame me saying these, we are a team after all. Not but saying will die anot but to push each other for better. Must be in high spirited mode every moment. Thats what I think..
Not hard isn't it? Haha.. Anyway, in other words. My perfect ideal team is a team who will helped each other neither in physically nor intelligently. But mentally, moral support is just what I think its most important. Not by saying negative words, but cheering words. We are prepared to win not to lose!!
We can do that isn't it? =D
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->10:10 PM
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I dont want misunderstanding..
Hi blog,
Its really been a nice day, so long never sleep so long with nothing in my mind. How good is that? Haha..
Lets see.. I have slept for 6 hours.. Lol.. If later I could sleep again, another 6 hours. So happy, I think I really like to sleep instead of play. =X Lol.. See how happy I am, its so obvious. Lol..
Sianz.. I knew it sooner or later my post will caused misunderstanding. I just wanna blog out my feelings, doesnt really want to blame my teammates. Although friends around me keep say its not my fault but them.. But also.. Its my fault for not being able to be more straightforward. Haiz.. I dont want misunderstanding, I just want my work to be done correctly. All we need is everyone do its part and just dont run. Thats my expectation for the teams....
Ahh.. I still wanna sleep and I want to sleep right away!! After my shows finished =X
Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->9:02 PM
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Hi blog,
Today I early in the morning went to NSC to check up. Its really very tired and plus all the fatigue i suffering. Really took me half of my life to get that. (Exaggerated =X) Anyway, Was hoping the queue time for me is short so I could settled the appointment fast enough to let me go home sleep.
I already decided to ask for leave from my teammates as I really think my body couldn't take it anymore. But in the end, they actually saw my last post which doesnt meant to let others see. =X Cause I posted it early in the morning 2.00am if not wrong then was planned to post this to cover that post. In the end, a failure >.< They forced me to stay at home no matter what. Well, I heed the advice then..
Its my turn to see the doctor, doctor introduced me to a new medicine. Its a medicine which supress the immunity system of mine so can reduce the effect of enzyma. But.. this will have side effect on Liver and Bone marrow, thus need me to take blood test once in 2 weeks. I was like hesitated, but its can supressed my enzyma and thats made me wanna try. Then as I wanted to start today, I need to have my blood test taken which actually costed me $60!! Wa kao.. Getting regrets now.. Hope the next blood test is cheaper, if not i got to quit, (Originally should be taken for half a year) Since I got finacial problem. Haiz.. Really lots of problem.. STRESS!!!!
I rather having a nice sleep now and I mean it!! =D
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->12:40 PM
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Regrettable Decision & Suffering & Its my turn
Hi blog,
24 May 2008
Today I have really did something really silly. Its just an action of my kindness yet I was forced to did something I really don't like, really...
One of my friend asked me to go pray for safety. I didn't really want to care about it in the first place (Was playing basketball at that time), furthermore I hate such stuff.. So I just reject the nice offer. But after that, I think its bad to reject people since that person think of me. Its just offering incenses, I was a Buddhist in the beginning so its okay for me. But the 'nice' offer, turned out to be the 'bad' one..
Everything goes through so fast, before I know it, I was been tricked.. I know its disrespect to say I was been tricked. What I mean is totally opposite of temple stuffs. Its just totally what I hate..
Friends who know me well should know I hate being restricted, I hate being forced to do something which I don't like, I hate following actions which is not from my heart.
Offering incenses is okay with me since I no need to follow any rules and no need others to look over me. Most importantly, my willingness.. But what you know? Its not just that..
What made me angry also when that friend actually used 'forgot' as an answer to my question. I got to forge out $10 for such thing. I was going to save money for my everything yet the start of my saving is to spent on thing I don't even think about it...
I was really angry, yet I got act as fine. Why am I so kind in the first place to agree to accompany that person. I don't want my friend feel so sad being rejected yet I am the one getting hurt over and over again over that friend. Is it paid to be kind? I wondered why..
Not blaming that friend since that person is just want me to be safe, but just that fate always joke around me like that. Forced me to see thing I don't like and do thing I don't like. This happened when I changed my mind for kindness...
If only I learnt how to say no firmly...
25 May
Today was a really tiring day. I guess I might really reached my limits soon. My body was so tore up when I woke up. My brain was the first thing I felt something wrong. Its hurt, don't know its because the heavy training we did from 8.30pm to 1.30am. So tired that I also don't know what to do, whether is to cancel the trip to Sim Lim Square or continue.
After some struggle, I managed to get up from the bed. That's my decision.. After some struggling, I managed to get out of the house. Meet up with siangyee and Reeve, then we board the 960 to Bugis. Totally no appetite, so I just had 1 bowl of Ice Kachang to kill the heat in me. "Where your teammates?" Ya.. I wondered what they doing now when I was out there. Well.. I also don't know how to answer so I laughed it off.
As usual, Reeve will drag us here and there. After some book surfing at a bookstore, we went to Sim Lim Square. After reached there.. My headaches getting into my way. Its really pain whenever I take steps or turn my head around for shops I need. Body was getting my way too when I feel like fainting, which I didn't (All thanks to determination). After some time, my effort goes unpaid. Nothing in return I suggested go Funan to try my luck..
Thanks to Reeve. I further increase the burden of my body by walking great distance from Sim Lim to Funan. Reached that, I already have no strength for items hunting. We stayed at another bookstore read some book. I took the chance to sit down and rest. 7 plus then we went up to see. But I guess its too late, everything closing. Haiz.. In the end, I just spent a day for nothing again..
26 May
Now I am blogging for 3 posts, this last portion. I wanna ask for leave on behalf of my body. I really getting weird. I am dragging my body now and my brain was still pain. But I just hope I can do it. Lets see I got the courage to ask for leave anot. I have a MC with me.. Silly of me to need courage right?
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->12:03 AM
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Hi blog,
Haiz.. Sometimes dont you think life its really just contradicting? Once you want to have good ending, yet you dont willing to give a shot for a good ending?
I having wonderful friends in my life now. Yet wonderful friends I have doesnt serve any helps when I needed it the most. I am the one giving them the happiness which i wonder why is that so? Why am I thinking this questions when I already given up hopes of having the friends I ever wanted in my life..
Wonderful friends I have indeed brought me away from depression from times to times. Yet they might be the one who actually pushed me into the depression everytime in the first place. Of course, I not pushing blames to people. I just want to note it down that..
"If you ever want changes, you need to change it. Everythings that happening around me is because I always keeping it a secret."
If you not happy with something, please say it out.
If you angry, please shout it out.
If you like someone, please say it as that will bring you closer to that person.
If you love someone, please grab the chance to change your life."
Well.. I guess I not that kind of person who did those above.
They always did things I dont like and I act it as I like. "Laugh it off" Yea.. Who dont like to have fun? But I just dont like to play when the time is wrong. To me, have a balance of fun and seriousness is more important. Haiz.. To me I think if they want it, its fine with me. But when its came to work, they dont even willing to do. Thats what make me so angry, and so stress that I keep think and think and think. My request for a good teammates is really very simple, as long they treat their work seriously, I really dont mind teammates depends on my solely. I guess I just doesnt suit to be a leader after all. Dont even say its a friend others want to depend on.
"Perfection doesnt exist.. As once its reached, a newer expectation appeared. Aiming for perfection doesnt end once its reached."
Yea.. Maybe thats applying to me. But.. In my memories, I doesnt remember that I ever felt that I reached any perfection in my life. So hope I could feel one....
Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->9:18 PM
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Clearing of rubbish (Stress) & Payback
Hi blog,
17 May
Its the Fund Raiser gathering again!! With the same gang of people just that Janine and Chee Leong is gone but with Jack back with us. Oh well...
Our first stop is go eat. Dont know for what reason, I and kian not hungry at all. So.. We decided to eat something like....

Lol.. Its something Kian noticed it and so we ordered it.. =X (I dont know how to explain the size therefore the picture =D)
After eating, we met up with wei bin and yinghaur by luck. So we went to Lan Shop instead. (Since Alan is not with us yet)
Have some fun playing dota but well, I lost 2 game. (Not fun at all >.<) Lol.. Went to meet up with Alan and we decided to go K-Pool for Pool!!
Wei Bin not happy with me when I win him pool the last time. So he decided to revenge.. >.< Poor me, I know I am going to lose this time cause I know I am not a player which played well in anything at the first try. Oh well, I won in the end (I was anyhow play!!) But not in skill, just luck.. As he hit the black ball to wrong hole. But I know he not happy cause I not focusing. Sorry la, I did tried, but cant. I not that compeititive unless its a showdown with no audience.. Lol..
Whats more amazing? I didnt lose any games afterward.. Oh well, I not that bad.. But not that professional too. So.. Its all luck =D
WeiBin and Yinghaur left after weibin finished the game with us, so he actually didnt withness how lucky I am. Haha.. But.. Not a doubt that he is a very good player. My respects to him. =X
Accompanied Alan to eat his dinner as he didnt had his yet. So our game was quite short. After that, we went to have plenty of photos taking. Its uploaded at my photo blog, take a look there =D
Thats all.....
18 May
Actually very sianz, today should have my last shopping done. But, last minute got 2 friend abandoned. Haiz.. If its 1 still okay, but 2 at the same day telling me not coming for tomorrow. Thats so sianz, no choice got to cancel my trip. Guess not going to pin my hope on them accompany me go buy shoes le. Haiz..
Was planning to sleep my day off but mom's cooking woke me up =X Lol.. Its 11am at that time. After lunch I decided to get back the notes I left it at weibin there accidentally yesterday.
Met him at AMK Hub and went to his house to get my notes. Then I though of payback him the game I owe him. Cause yesterday its obvious he want to win me nicely. So I suggested to play since I have no activities.
We had 5 rounds in total and I lost in the end. Haha.. 2:3 I think I really paid him back as the first game against him, my turn to hit the black ball to the wrong hole. Lol.. The rest was an exciting match. Haha.. But I didnt know I played quite well when its a 9 Feet game since I tried twice in my lifetime only. Luck surely on my side when its pool =X Haha.. But I guess we 2 getting closer now due to such challenge =D 1 new good friend Haha..
Went back home to see leong and Alan. Both at my house because Alan want to use Leong laptop and Leong want to come my house. Such funny chains, so both end up at my house. Accompanied Alan to causeway to have dinner as I also need to give Jack 1 of his notes as he misplaced at my side. Kianhui was there too as he didnt had his dinner yet.
Reached home to realized my dinner was being eaten by my small bro >.< "@#$%&" Lucky still got my mom so had her helped me packed some food for me. The rest of the time no need say, playing dota =X
Haha.. Thats my life.. So boring, thats applied to tomorrow too....
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->2:19 AM
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