Hi blog.. here again.. dont worry.. not a emotional blog for ending.. as i went out for dinner with derick and joseph.. well.. its fun and really comfortable with them.. which i can talk really as much as you all cant imagine.. we went to admiralty place KFC eat.. and we got nothing to do.. we went to causeway point arcade played.. damn.. forgot to take photos.. haha.. we played the hammer king.. a game which you pick up the hammer and hit as hard to the sensor as possible.. haha.. jospeh the flying bird.. made the first record.. he hit MISS!! LOL.. he missed the target.. damn funny.. he jumped up so nice but end up missed.. lol.. i think i better with both 800++ and derick with 700++ and 800++ i winner =D haha.. and after that.. we took bus to our house downstair.. and we chat awhile thats the end..
I dont know why.. my friends in woodlands.. the 2 are the best with me.. we can talk alot alot of things.. but confirm we never stop laughing.. i, derick and joseph.. like a 3 man gang.. and i guess its hard to separate us.. we used alot of terms to describe each others.. and the fun.. is what i cant get with others.. same with feelings and thoughts.. i no need to think so much with them.. thats the understanding i want.. well.. not they understand me well or maybe dont understand me.. but.. they never let me sad before.. they accomodate me.. thats is the first kind of treatment i ever get from friends.. and its only from them not others.. they make me laugh naturally which not others can do it well.. guess.. they indeed the only friends i no need to think of so much to be with them.. and have fun.. now.. at least i know i not that lonely now.. ya.. its the freedom i want.. but when will the understanding? unknown is the answer to it.....
Ended the storytelling at -->9:05 PM
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Hi blog.. i was now in extremely bad mood.. i cant believe my brother is sicked.. well.. i wake up at 4.. so this just happened.. and its totally spoilt my mood.. what happened is..
when i was being waken up by voices.. i saw yi engaged on phone with mom.. and i opened my eyes as i guess.. its should be mom calling us to ask what we wanna eat.. okay i wake u at 4.. surely haven eat.. and you know my brother.. if he eaten.. the sky could really drop!! okay.. stop the nonsense.. and i acually opened my eyes and look at him ask whats wrong.. even though know what happened.. you know what he said when i talk to him? he said.. " mingfan? oh he sleeping.." okay.. i feel damn weird.. i talk to him.. he didnt reply!! and he went back to laptop.. i was freaking.. i really wanna smash the laptop.. is the mind only game.. game game game.. i really regretted letting him play the MU i playing.. know what..
Mom came back with the foods... my mom actually forgot what i usually eat.. and she bought the food i dont want to eat at all!! i was totally.. no mood to eat.. and so i give up.. tell them eat up my share.. okay.. thats stil okay.. but you know what? yi actually dont even care what mistakes he made.. i called him 3 times or even more and he replied "what?" and freaking i told him what he done... he actually dont care.. well if thats the case.. i know what to do liao.. the things must be stopped.. he cannot play anymore.. if he continue.. not only our laptop gonna gone.. his life and study plus my life and my mood will be destroyed!!
i know.. you all sure say its small case.. but if you living in my house.. you will understand what is living in hell.. dont believe? then swap family.. i got a great mom.. but the rest.. you will know when you able to swap.. plus.. he is my brother which i doted for years.. you think i will just see him get rot with game? i guess.. i really sick of my life when i said those.. my limits are there.. after the job.. i totally changed.. at least most.. i became emotional.. can feel more stuffs.. more dull.. more able to see through stuffs.. and understand why like that.. but cant react to that.. i am going to a stage.. crazy.. i am now totally gonna gone berserk. guess times just the key for that..
advices.. ideas.. solutions.. all can be done myself.. but why.. nobody actually think of that.. people actually cant understand what i really going through. i guess.. i gonna stop the dreaming of listener.. stop the dreaming of people understand me.. its final already.. if i still having hopes on impossible.. i will really go berserk more faster.. i need to close all my senses now.. i need to let myself have a break.. sorry if you think i changed.. but its the situation you all dont know.. changed me.. closed.. and ended.....
Ended the storytelling at -->4:43 PM
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Is it right for me to be too kind?
Hi blog.. i dont know why i could said as the title i written.. lets talk about today what i have done.. wake up at 2pm.. use laptop till 5 pm.. go eat by myself at 888 plaza at 5 plus.. and play game till now.. thats what i did basically.. so back to the topic...
Why am i saying that? its actually to my small brother.. but basically.. also to many people.. its like.. well.. people out there should know.. there a psychology illness which actually caused people to be uneasy or desperate to be online when cant use the comp.. those are people who always used the comp and do nothing else.. well.. obviously i am a gamer.. but luckily i dont have.. but my brother do.. as i can see from today.. first.. people talk to him.. need to repeat so he could hear what you saying. not he deaf.. but he is unconcern about what happening when using comp.. then for today.. he actually every 20 minutes come in asked for the cable.. normally i was in wireless.. but i needed to download something fast.. i could used cable for to download somethings and he wasnt around.. so when he back.. i been disturbed for hours.. when i go out eat.. i told him not to use my laptop.. i will give back the cable to router when i done.. but the minutes i back.. i realized he is using.. and what more worse? he actually left the tv on all the while plus the fans at living rooms.. isnt that crazy.. i could see his face changed when i come back.. and again.. for the next few hours.. i been disturbed.. for everytime the tv programme in advertisement.. and he actually could scold me.. hey.. he been using for hours and hours for everyday.. and of course.. included my laptop.. and i dote him so much for nothing.. buy meal for him.. he buy meal just for himself.. thats what i also angry of.. tell him go out eat together.. he rather use the laptop and starve till death also dont want go out eat.. i guess.. its truly he got the mental illness.. and i was so kind hearted that i dont know want to forbid him play again anot.. he improved alot when i didnt let him play for long time.. but now.. he is more worse than last time.. how.. should i let or forbid? i was very confused.. and you could see from his blog.. he got his own problem too.. what should i do.. am i too kind? my big brother also know what actually going on.. but he didnt hesitated.. he said just forbid.. his exam coming on tuesday.. i didnt see him study either.. but at least homework he did.. haiz..
Why i always have to have all the burdens on my shoulder.. and whats worse is i cant put down.. am i fate to suffer all these.. relationships.. family problem.. personal stuffs.. i gonna gone berserk if all these continue.. is there people really understand what i am going through? what i need now is not advice.. its the understandng i need the most, even ears i could be grateful to it... is it going to happened? or its just a dream to me.....
Ended the storytelling at -->2:51 AM
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Hi blog.. i dont know why i blogged again.. i really got nothing to do now.. and dont know why.. have no mood to play game either.. or have no 1 to chat.. have no listener for me i suddenly realized that.. i feel damn fool now.. why i always think of others when i myself having problems.. can i start care for myself? no 1 for me to chat seriously.. am i that alone? i been thinking alot.. i have been losing sleep recently.. since the start of school.. friends separated.. what left arent the best but at least a better friend.. but just friend instead of friends..
Actually.. i didnt mentioned.. when the first lesson i had.. i was the first 1 to reach the lab.. and no1 was there.. i feel damn lonely.. and when 1 of my classmate came in.. which been classmates since first year.. she actually sit so far from me.. how come? am i that freak? i dont know why.. i suddenly realized i have not had good friends.. i mean.. ya.. there got.. but not much.. and i not been doing a great friend to others.. like i actually lied alot of stuffs its white lies.. but i shouldnt lied.. and i kept alot of matters in my heart.. is this all i deserved it? i suddenly thought of..
Now what i doing is stare screen.. cant sleep.. cant play.. and no1 to chat with.. am i gonna be like this for life.. patterns just goes on.. i cant remember actually got people chat with me as first move.. i mean got.. derick? maybe he just the 1.. who else? i cant remembered anyone.. i mean really just wanna chat with me.. i just wanna have a listener for at least once.. but could i have that chance? i am a fool.. i keep things to myself.. i have been a quiet boy.. even thought this recently keep talking.. actually just wanna lived out the quietness for awhile.. but.. i couldnt get the spirit.. i need a buddy.. that i could chat with.. without hiding.. thats what i thinking.. but could i do it? i wondered.. maybe what i really need.. is the key to open my heart.. am i right? even here.. i still keep secret.. but luckily.. no lies.. haha.. sorry to let those visitor read a emotional post again.. but thanks for visiting again.....
Ended the storytelling at -->12:06 AM
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Hi blog.. today i went to NYP.. haha actually we went there due to early dismissal and boring.. no activities with siangyee.. thats why.. haha.. so we 2 decided to went to NYP.. go there by bus 72.. its quite a long trip.. but not that long.. around 1 hour plus.. funy part we did is.. we made it exciting.. by dont let anyone discovered us as TP.. lol.. and the siangyee wear the TP jacket.. damn funny.. we made alot of actions.. haha.. main movtive is to find reeve.. but instead.. we end up with joseph at Raiders.. lol.. play lan game.. so.. the trip to NYP actually is damn short.. lol.. didnt explore the Campus.. but have fun.. crazy fun.. haha.. so well.. a good day anyway..
Oh ya.. bad news.. i got 4 days of break ahead.. oh my god.. what should i do? haiz.. monday no lesson.. tuesday labour day.. add up weekends.. its 4 day break!! lol.. must find something to do.. why i said bad news is because.. i am the only 1 having 4 days break among my friends -.-.. haiz.. what should i do... never mind dont think that much.. thats all for today.. Fan Logging off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->9:04 PM
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Hi blog.. today its my 200th post.. as you can see.. haha.. so used it as heading.. lol.. so its been 200th days i used this blog.. but i started during secondary 4.. so isnt is stange for a regular blogger to have only 200 post? haha.. as i used to have another blog last time before having this.. okay.. stop this unrelated stuffs.. haha..
So today.. i almost late again due to the jam.. the bus actually stucked 1 and a half hour.. its freak.. then i sleep at 5am wake up at 6am.. damn tired.. but the chair not good to sleep at all.. cause me body aches.. haiz.. then so long which i didnt realized.. until i took out my phone... then Oh my goodness.. we gonna late.. thats run through my brain.. lucky.. when we alighted 69 came in the same timing.. which i and siangyee rush for it.. so tired.. saw janine board the bus.. so i sms her.. and she cant find me -.-.. am i that short >.< though i sit at corner.. i still told her 5o'clock.. so sad.. then we alighted at engineering school.. bided good bye to her.. we run!! haha.. late already no choice.. keep running.. there a guy which wearing suit.. damn funny.. there a path he dont run there he jump over the glass.. well.. a powerful jump but a stupid idea i think.. pointless.. nobody blocking him either.. haha.. anyway.. i and siangyee 2 different way.. and i rush up stairs of 5 floors.. freaking tired.. my body condition still bad.. haiz.. but luckily.. i never late!! 0914 haha.. phew..
So above is my morning stuffs.. we only have few lessons.. then i sleep in lectures.. lol.. then finally end of all lessons for the day.. well.. sleep at 5am wake up at 6am.. surely will be damn tired.. so i dont want to do any stuffs.. just go home.. but i remembered need to buy japanese book.. so went to buy without bringing any cash.. lol.. then when i said i need to withdraw money.. the person aiyo.. lol.. anyway.. so tired.. buy book liao go home straight away... reach home le i straight away sleep.. haha.. sleep till now.. now energetic liao.. haha..
Okay liao.. stop here.. thanks for coming.. but if you viewing.. please tag =D so i know the visitor rate.. haha.. thank you and good bye.....
Ended the storytelling at -->9:05 PM
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Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Hi blog.. back home.. well.. didnt went home with siangyee.. but instead.. my ex-leader.. amazing right? actually also dont know why he come to TP.. but.. hmm. first start my day story first..
Well.. should know what happened in the morning if you seen the previous post.. then after that.. we had 2 lecture.. 1 lecture actually is a business course.. amazingly.. we the first school having it and we the first batch plus course to have it.. actually.. our course doesnt look attractives.. but actually got alot alot of good points plus benefits compared to other courses or even schools.. like exemption in CUs for university etc.. alot but cant remembered.. haha.. and our courses is very general.. all type of subject we needed to learn.. maths, IT, science, even now business.. lol.. look like i advertising.. but actually this is what i learnt after 1 year of lessons.. well.. starting to get used.. but just hate the class separation patterns.. haiz.. continue..
so after that.. a terrible 4 hours of break need to go through.. haiz.. dont know do what.. met up with dennis, jolin , jiajun ,mok of course with qiaofeng go eat kfc.. which i no appetite again.. haiz.. i really going to slim down if this continues.. dont know is good news or bad news.. then we went to library.. i went there sleep and watch soccer at Podium.. then thats what i did during 4 hours.. went for japanese lecture.. met my old leader douglas there.. i mean psychology leader.. okay.. this is bad.. the teacher after so long.. think i am a female all along!! when choosing group.. teacher choose for us.. then assisted me with douglas and 2 female behind us.. then after awhile.. said why our group got so many female.. i was shocked.. 2 only many? then she said 3.. i o.0? what the heck!! i am a male i protested.. she apologised.. keep say sorry.. well.. wasnt feel hurt.. not the first time.. but just very sianz.. do i look that cute -.-.. thats what teacher and others said.. haiz..
Then after the Japanese lecture.. i went to business school.. actually wanted to find he cheng at the Japanese lecture.. then suddenly recieved a phone call from Joseph.. he at Tp.. with janine and kah gee.. of course i was amazed.. okay alot of stuffs happened.. which i lazy to type.. as its just pure funny.. i dont know why keep quiet again.. haiz.. my spirit seriously never picked up at all.. maybe just awhile.. during the BCMGT the humorous lecturer and the Sensei of Japanese Tutorial.. well.. then go home with Joseph by 969.. and thats the end of my day..
Long post again.. dont know why.. but non-emotional.. which compared to others.. well.. maybe school is where i could stayed normal.. abit more talkative. more lively.. okay.. stopped here.. Sayonara.....
Ended the storytelling at -->9:38 PM
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First day missed lesson..
Hi blog.. now at school now. just skipped 1 lesson.. actually not i wanted to skip.. but due to jam.. i late for 1 hour.. then i dont feel like going.. like shrinking my responsiblilty.. i know its my fault for not telling my mom the time to call me.. but is actually because i wanna sleep early.. and due to that.. the mistake appear.. well though i missed a first lesson which similiar to my last sem.. at least i now able to rest.. as i was feeling terrible sick.. haiz.. always like this.. not everything goes my way as usual.. actually wont late if the bus come early.. wait for 969 for 13mins and 69 for 12mins plus.. this is my first time i need to wait for so long.. the next time i must wake up even more early.. but i still wanna blame the school.. why set 8am? never think of those people who lived far at all.. person like me who always have risk meeting jams.. need to wake up at 5am!! i just a teenager.. and freaking said treat us as young adult.. if they think this the responsiblities i need to handle.. please.. i have tried my best.. i always reach school 1 hour early.. but just a jam i late.. its really unfair.. i was thinking all these when i was trapped in the jam.. well.. stop bothered by all these.. stopped here now.. next time blog.. bye.....
Ended the storytelling at -->9:11 AM
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Hi blog.. today the activities.. is.. just 1 Japanese lecture on 5pm and thats all.. haha.. Tp.. is crazy.. 1 lecture put on monday for me.. which i can actually dont need come school.. funny school.. okay.. first speak of the feeling on the trip to school..
Big Rain.. haha.. so cold.. in the bus.. and very unfamiliar feeling.. dont know why.. last time also 6 weeks holdiday.. but i never felt like this before.. like its my first day go school... and its very cold in bus.. more worse.. the trip seem to be never ending.. so weird.. reach school.. feel more weird.. like i am freshmen.. haha.. then wait awhile siangyee appeared.. at least.. a face i know.. haha.. of course.. whole area is full of people.. i can remembered the face of those year 2 and 3.. due to good memory? haha.. then finally.. the feeling is back.. i am 2nd year.. i must remember.. but funny part happened here.. i being stopped and asked whether i am freshmen -.-.. what the heck.. at business school.. funny sia.. then we said no and we go on.. then i realized why.. i looked at siangyee.. the way he dressed.. super look like freshmen!! haha.. no wonder i being stopped..
Anyway.. here my jap lesson.. packed sia.. because we just nice the timing come in.. so all the good seats are gone.. left the infront seats.. so we go take.. haha.. anyway funny sia... the teacher actions is damn cute.. oh she is a japanese maybe thats the reason.. and the accent.. haha.. half japanese half english.. and the surrounding.. saying japanese if know.. like me. know abit.. can understand.. the feeling like i really in japanese class now.. but well.. i am in japanese class.. but i never expect this kind of feeling.. haha.. but what i dont wanna happened in the coming days.. is the role playing.. freak.. its more worse than the psychology advertisement project.. as i need to act infront of all people this time in japanese!! oh man.. oh by the way.. haven met any classmates yet.. well.. haven start my lessons yet >.<.. hope all is quiet 1 as i said earlier on.. i dont like noisy environment.. if jokes only still okay.. but well.. just hope its according what i want.. a selfish thoughts.. but i just wanna have it.. haha.. okay la.. stopped here now.. long posts again.. thought still got people seeing.. apologise for that.. and thats all.. Sayonara.....
Ended the storytelling at -->9:38 PM
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The trip to K-box (Meant to be posted on Apr 22)
Hi blog.. well.. yesterday as i said.. was been invited to go for a K-Box trip.. and i agreed because i promised.. and here i go.. and now i blog for the feeling i had there..
Well.. trip to there was okay.. nothing much happened.. just too quiet.. i mean just me being the quiet boy as usual.. i realized this recently no matter go out with who.. derick them etc.. all very quiet.. dont know why.. maybe the real me is emerging.. lol.. anyway.. when on the way.. there a guy who stopped me.. and asked for money.. said he lost his wallet.. i gave him.. 2 bucks.. he said he will return me.. telling me took his handphone number.. but i rejected.. i just feel that kindness doesnt need to have payback.. so i rejected.. thats a small stuffs happened.. haha..
There we reach the amazing K-Box i always heard.. why.. still okay.. but just abit cold there.. as usual.. i quiet and enjoyed the songs they sang.. they tell me sing.. i dont want.. as i said bad vocal.. then about 6.30pm.. we ended.. so i sang 0 songs.. then went for dinner.. and go home.. yup.. today just a trip to let me know the K-Box.. so nothing much..
If you were beside me.. and i said nothing at all for whole day.. will u asked me why so quiet? because i always stayed quiet.. i think silence is a very good environment.. so i always put on my earpiece.. sometime will not on any music.. so will still able to listen your conversation.. if you still want to know the reason for i keep quiet... i dont know.. thats my answer.. but you speak to me.. i will reply with what you want.. maybe funny. maybe stern.. see whats the topic.. i still a funny person with abilities to play with words.. thats is me.. but just prefer to stay quiet.. haha.. but maybe i might be more noisy.. in cyber world.. so bascially.. is 2 difference me.. i guess.. you can force me to talk.. but if you never persist on.. i never speak for long.. haha.. okay.. thats all.. Fan Signing off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->9:35 PM
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Hi blog.. today as i said.. being invited to a dinner.. but.. i been through alot just to meet them.. i dont know how to say.. but i will type out..
After knowing i yeu will not be around with me at there.. i suddenly dont feel like going.. i know i will not be talking.. if yeu there.. surely got conversation.. no need me participate.. but no choice.. joseph called me while i am thinking.. and no choice.. i said okay.. without thinking.. and regret.. but no choice.. find a jacket.. and went out..
The trip to the tanjong pagar.. was so.. hard.. so many thoughts went through.. and nobody i could actually speak with.. i took off the spec.. dont like to look at people.. i just like the scenery.. actually is just a way of escaping.. dont want to look at people.. such a fool.. but i did it anyway.. but i like the feeling of without spec.. but dont know how i look without spec.. they say i look more nicer without spec.. well.. too bad i with spec.. and this will goes on for life..
Anyway reached tanjong pagar at 7pm.. but i didnt call joseph them.. instead.. i actually sit down in the station.. the plaform there.. near the lift.. dont know whether want go up anot.. i scared.. i dont know how to face those people alone.. so stupid sit down there.. actually.. struggling.. i holding the phone.. and i dont know what to do.. i almost actually... wanna scream.. so stupid.. during that period.. i keep wanna leave.. but i cant stand up.. then when the last time i thought of leaving.. joseph call came.. is it fate? i finally get up myself.. and The Call came in.. guess cant excape after all.. when i just take the lift.. they at 7-11 and i saw them from afar.. even though without spec.. weird sia.. then i walk over.. walk past chariot and andrew.. they say hi and i barely speak out.. but at least i wave back.. every things so blurred.. without spec.. and i saw someone waved at me.. they all sitting at stairs.. so when i reach person.. its janine.. so i just sit beside her and said nothing.. of course... being the center of the conversation.. but i didnt speak much.. then we go eat dinner.. but i didnt eat or even drink.. dont know why.. just no appetite at all.. i made a lie.. i said i have eaten which i have not for hours.. until now also.. not hungry at all.. just wanna go home.. i dont want waste their time talking to me.. but useless.. they dragged me to singapore river.. and we played alot of card games.. i have no interest at all.. i just wanna see the scenery.. memory game.. i can remember the card.. but just no mood to pick.. but joseph and kah gee helped me sia.. poor janine.. been bullied like hell.. finally i can laugh.. just abit.. the last card game is the game i finally got abit interest.. because.. got punishment.. and i dont want to get punished.. i didnt got any.. actually is almost.. because janine figured my pattern.. and joseph also.. almost but i keep be the first 1 to finished.. so phew.. but at least.. i put up a natural smile.. then alot of stuffs happened which i dont wanna say.. as its not mine but 1 colleague personal stuffs.. and i went home..
Now.. being asked out again.. by alan.. to k-box.. because i promised.. i go.. i very responsible de.. what i promised i will do it.. at least this my good point.. am i right? but i also wanna see k-box how its like... will not be singing.. as my vocal not good. i just wanna listen.. haha.. so hope tomorrow will be a smooth and fun trip..
Haha.. kind of emotional but at least abit of adventure post.. hope you all dont mind.. but still thanks for coming anyway.. and sorry for being the spoiler as always.. have a nice day.....
Ended the storytelling at -->12:42 AM
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Confused.. now and there..
HI blog.. early in the morning i blogged.. really very weird.. i dont know why.. i unable to fall asleep.. my mind was thinking here and there.. alot alot of stuffs went through my head.. oh ya.. haven state the reason what triggered all that.. well.. my ex-leader joseph called me suddenly.. asked me go out for dinner.. just after the post i did previously.. isnt Fate making fun of me.. i just said wanna disappear.. it actually made a chance for me to reappear.. thats indeed funny.. its really hilarious dont you think? in past making me like fool.. what i want.. keep dont give.. now what i dont want it to happen.. keep happened.. i really just a toy for it to play after all.. but maybe.. i really thinking too much.. i dont know why i suddenly like this say.. my colleague.. janine.. just said i think too much.. should put down all things and continue living.. and not care about others view.. all this sentences.. so familiar.. so deep.. i suddenly.. dont know what to say.. and i agreed on it.. i dont know why... a person with abilities to play with words.. and alot of reasoning.. actually dont know what to say.. suddenly.. i think.. maybe is my heart changed mind.. and now i posting.. i suddenly.. have this thinking of why escaped? but in another minutes.. i think why i must face those people which triggered my bad memories.. alot of thoughts run again while i typing... i indeed a fool.. a fool which always know how to care for others but dont willing to care for just myself.. ya i am a fool.. just think of others.. and so.. i know how to face this now.. why dont i just face it.. why let others waste time on me just to pull me out of this stupid thinking.. just move out yourself.. okay.. i just felt much better.. funny isnt it.. others never success in persuading me.. but i always manage to persuad myself.. really very funny.. but at least.. i made my first step again.. my brave first step.. indeed.. i already wasted 1 of my colleague time.. so i never allow that happened again.. i promised.. and thank you......
Ended the storytelling at -->4:51 AM
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Hi blog.. today woke up at 5.. amazing right? well.. because slept at 6am.. guess thats the result.. quite tired now.. but at least i living fine.. rest well.. before the days of hell start.. guess its okay for me to do that right? guess i indeed retrieved my holiday from Fate.. well thanks to that.. i recovered much.. but.. 1 sms broke my feeling..
cheeleong asked me wanna go work tomorrow.. i replied no.. without thinking.. guess.. not going to work there.. maybe because.. dont want to see those people again.. may hope they forget me... well.. no matter how good they are.. there still thoughts.. about how useless i am.. even just abit.. i can feel.. i am a feeler after all.. very sensitive person.. i can feel the eyes.. but they are good guys.. so its already ery good they can treat me like this.. but no matter what.. i just hope wont appear infront of their vision anymore.. thats what i think.. but dont know why.. i still open chat box with those people.. hope this actions will just diminished.. ya.. just automatic stop thinking of them.. just think i am a coward.. a boy running away from his weaknesses and dont dare to face them anymore.. i very grateful for those people care about me.. but thats it.. thanks colleagues....
money problem.. might be the real trouble.. i need to resolve it.. but i dont have a job with me now.. guess need to search newspaper for that.. i cant possible stay at home try to save money.. i sure cant do that.. well.. hope everything just be smooth for me can le.. guess this post long and naggy.. sorry for those to read my emotional post.. i dont know why i so sadist now.. but i will get back.. haha.. thank you.....
Ended the storytelling at -->5:31 PM
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Hi blog.. its look like i faked everyone.. i said i will blog at night.. in the end i fall asleep.. haha.. well.. played basketball yesterday.. went home too tired liao.. so sleep.. haha.. so thats what happened yesterday..
Today.. went out.. lol.. actually just go downstair meet up with siangyee.. haha.. take my timetable.. damn sickening.. where got time table like this de.. alot of bads.. first.. i was separated from my close friends i know in that class... damn sad.. 2nd.. the CDS i got.. its actually JAP!! i cant believe... 1.2 i want it dont give.. now i dont want liao.. fourth choice its actually got me.. its so freaking.. and third.. shouldnt have lesson on monday.. when i saw it.. i so happy.. but when i scroll down.. disaster!! a lesson on 5pm.. only that lesson.. and its jap!!! its so.. argh.. i was so shocked that i blur diao.. where got monday only 1 lesson and its at 5pm!! freak.. so many bads.. i rather totally change this timetable.. but good also have la.. compared to my friends and classmates.. is.. my timetable very loose.. not packed at all.. so thats the only good.. but well forget it.. just hope not all my close friends were gone.. some still with me i will be grateful.. new faces.. hope all is good 1.. haiz.. thats all for today... rest time.. Fan Logging off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->6:02 PM
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Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Afternoon.. Blog.. haha.. today have a housecleaning.. or room cleaning.. haha.. while. really very bored.. and what i did before that was sleeping.. keep want to sleep but cant fall asleep.. haiz.. so no choice did some room cleaning.. but did till halfway.. argh.. so much to do.. so i did half only.. lol.. lazybum.. haha.. anyway day still early.. will leave the rest of my day at the next post at night.. haha.. now dont know what to do.. will see how.. but heaven not good sia.. now raining.. haiz.. cant go out anymore.. stay at home struggle to find something to do now.. so cya at the next post.....
Ended the storytelling at -->1:10 PM
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Hi blog.. today i watched a movie.. what we did.. start from in the morning.. where.. hmm.. quite funny.. starting of the day disturbed by a phone call.. actually is a wake up call by joseph.. haha.. then its say.." 11 soon.. go down meet me.." then i realize.. i got activities.. haha.. but.. i still fall asleep.. when wake up. 11.05am liao.. i thought i was gonna be late.. as i haven brush teeth and prepare.. but i saw.. no message. no calls.. i think awhile.. fal asleep again.. lol.. then a message came wake me up.. i see.. "12.05 meet at huat house downstair.." then time is 11.45.. still early.. sleep again.. and of course i late.. haha.. late awhile only i guess..
meet up with them first we do is go for a haircut.. not me and joseph.. but huat.. went to marsiling cut.. lol.. thats funny.. but huat insist so we went there.. after that we saw jeremy.. then we drag him watch movie together.. after lunch and haircut.. we went to causeway point.. buy ticket and went to arcade play.. then huat say wanna bath as he had a haircut so we accompany go his house and back to causeway catch the movie 'shooter' quite a thrilling movie.. but the story plot just okay.. ending i dont like.. but overall. its victory is at the actions stuff.. the accuracy all these.. and the ending mark the end of the fun for today.. but actually.. not.. lol.. we still go arcade play awhile before we went home.. so.. thats all for today.. haha..
but after reach home.. i started to think.. what to do for the next 5 days.. there is basically nothing to do.. feel sianz about it.. as again.. hope someone just suggest an activity that i could join... i gonna bored like hell.. haha.. thats all for today.. Fan logging off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->9:34 PM
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Hi blog.. today is the first day of school.. wel.. not me obviously.. its my friends.. but.. i was.. way too bored to stay at home.. wake up the first thing is eat.. after that.. switch on the laptop dont know what to do.. and what i do is walk around.. just the first day.. i bored like hell.. managed to spend the time till now.. but yet... the time stil early.. i was bored like hell.. what am i gonna do.. freak... i just rotting.. can anybody who is still my friends yet very free.. just call me out... thats my mind keep think of.. haiz.. hope its do happened.. haha.. okay stopped here.. nothing happened naturally nothing to blog.. so thats all.....
Ended the storytelling at -->4:18 PM
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Hi blog.. today is another dull day... wake up and sleep.. sleep till enough play.. like a freeloader.. so sianz.. stay at home do nothing.. want exercise but body still weak.. more sianz.. such a illness took 1 week of my holiday.. no jobs.. no money.. no activity.. no life.. haiz.. i now pasting the worst of my holiday of all holidays.. haiz.. everyone start school tomorrow.. left me.. i look like very good.. but actually living like hell.. haiz.. when will my body okay.. when can i start jumping around.. haiz.. when will my friends call me out.. when i no need slack at home.. i got alot of things in mind troubled me enough.. haiz..
Still being troubled by the past.. when can i walk out of my past i wondered.. the next time.. will 1 be a stronger person in heart?? i dont know.. i think seriously my pride and my heart hurt alot and deep.. i guess i cant take anymore emotional damage.. will die.. stopped here now.. any kind person please tag and enlight me.....
Ended the storytelling at -->12:02 AM
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Hi blog.. not a really 'that fun' day for today.. why i said that is because.. hmm.. lets start from the beginning.. my friends came to my house for 'party' as i said yesterday.. not really excited.. as what they play is always what i dont play.. but well.. i always got to accomodate them.. lol.. say until they so bad.. but not la.. i must also try enjoy.. thats 1 of the reason.. haha.. anyway.. its quite fun in the beginning.. but after that.. the atmosphere died down liao.. haha.. because the next game they played is what i dont like.. haha.. but still enjoyed.. haha.. so actually all happened are only these stuff..
This recently.. my mind keep flash back the unhappiness i had in the last work i had.. all the bad performance.. the attitude.. the eyes vision.. alot.. not even 1 good stuff i remember.. actually.. regret getting that job.. friends i know surely will gone again.. as i always experience that.. and no money returned.. what the point.. i really regretted.. but now no turn back.. and what worse is.. my heart is more weaker now.. and dont know why.. i keep quiet more often now.. as i said.. keep think.. think alot.. anyway.. getting that job.. i lost more than learnt.. with the confused mind i have now.. i dont know how to adjust my feeling to the coming school opening next next week.. lucky still got time to adjust.. if not.. haiz.. hope those colleagues wont call me go out.. as.. i dont want to be a closer friend and in the end so cold to each other when time goes by.. i sick of that feeling.. okay.. stop the moody blog liao.. thats all.. Fan blogged.....
Ended the storytelling at -->10:37 PM
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Hi blog.. happy with the new clothes i make for you? haha.. this skin i used about 4 hours to make.. well.. because got distraction.. haha.. anyway.. anyone could comment on this skin.. tell me where to improve.. i could be greatly appreciated..
So today what i did? as i said above lor.. haha.. as i still abit sick.. cant go out.. so the only activity coming is tomorrow.. where the usual group are coming my house to rock my house.. they sure make a mess out of it.. but well.. since they long time never come.. so i let them de.. haha.. okay liao.. got to go have my pathetic meal of whole day now.. so sad.. fan signing off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->10:25 PM
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Hi blog.. today got the mood to blog 2 times.. actually because first i go get a new haircut.. a fresh look again.. and i went to relax with my friends which i have long time never been with.. stay at their house watch the variety show they show me and laugh like hell.. so happy.. can forget alot of stuffs.. settled down my mind.. spend long time and we eat at macdonald.. haha.. sick person move around and more worse go eat macdonald.. really want to fall sick again.. thats just a thinking.. anyway.. just feel good and relaxed.. now my friends all opening school soon.. left siangyee with me waiting the slowest proccessor of all school.. TP.. for its time table.. at least let us know what planned for us ahead.. well.. anxious also useless.. they biggest.. haha.. okay la.. stop here le.. thanks for listening my craps.. anyway i got a new skin on preparation now.. haha.. i must make sure this time is a nice 1.. i dont want any regrets again.. haha.. fan signing off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->8:59 PM
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Hi blog.. finally i can get out of the bed within 10 seconds.. which mean i finally getting well.. this recently i spend almost 1 mins and used alot of strength not only to get up also to control my balance... as fever surely accompanied with dizzy.. but well.. finally feeling better.. hands not shaking anymore.. but the cough still there.. and i still abit dizzy.. but well.. i just happy i finally can move around at least like a normal person.. wont look like zombie or dying person.. how to say.. hmm... just happy i can get well.. haha.. anyway.. thats all... cause.. time still early.. haha.. i go cut hair le.. get a new fresh look first.. sayonara.....
Ended the storytelling at -->11:42 AM
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Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Living agony for few days...
Hi blog.. sorry about didnt blog these few days.. actually was sick.. strange right? previous day i said i getting well.. wy i still sick for 2 more days.. actually i dont know why i didnt get well.. but instead it get worsen.. and actually i burnt till 40.2... haiz... forced to see doctor the next day.. i forgot what doctor say liao as i was really too sick to listen.. my big brother send me there de.. luckily got him.. haiz... until now my body totally no strength even typing.. guess can no need go find work liao.. doctor said i need about few day of resting before i get well.. haiz.. i really sick in the wrong time.. where got people sick during holiday de.. i really cant get it why my fate is like this.. its not like i didnt take care my body.. well.. what happened did happened.. now just hope i could get well fast so i could actually start going out to have some fun with others.. my hand are shaking now.. guess i really sick seriously.. this the 2nd time i fall sick so seiously.. last time is germ infection.. now is high fever... just hope i dont fall sick.. well. my brother is right.. my body immune system are weak when i was small.. so shouldnt go caught in rain so much.. well stop talking all these craps..
I guess i was really being ignored.. none of my friend come see me or concerned me at all even when they know my illness.. am i such a friend that no need care me and let me die faster so no need to see me? or actually is 1 of my friend badmouth me.. which is huat.. actually when previous day or yesterday which i was sick like i dont know when liao.. actually promised them i can go down chit chat with them.. but my fever back and i cant go down.. huat was so sarcastic and still blame me giving him attitude when i haven type anything to scold him or what.. basically this is what i hate about him.. in my life. this my first time i ever hate my friend.. probably he the first 1 ever.. haiz.. am i right saying that? after all he still my friend... or actually he is just what i think.. just die faster.. mayber thats everyone think right? sometime i really want to rest for eternal... not sometime.. is everytime.. i sick and tired of life like that.. which nobody show concern or do something for me after i did so much for them.. i can list so much friend out.. how come not even 1 i could talk my secret out.. once bitten twice shy.. actually my friend even betrayed me.. haiz... and whats more.. he my best buddy i ever acknowledge.. now not buddy le.. as he moved from woodlands and we seldom chat liao.. he once in a while chat with me i very happy liao.. i just a simple boy with no high lever of expectation of having friend and buddy.. but just for low level.. i still cant find.. thats might be my fate... well.. just hope i will get well soon.. hand shaking while typing.. guess i not even recovered half of the condition.. haiz.. think still need few more days of resting.. well.. i also take this chance to classify my friend between a better friends and friends.. at least someone just show his concern to me.. i felt warm.. so thats all. goodbye.....
Ended the storytelling at -->12:58 PM
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Oh great... today the first day for me to rest peacefully.. and what happened? i sick.. high fever.. guess its the rain that i caught in caused me.. when i wake up.. i feel giddy and weak.. and i know i am sick.. i feel my body hot.. and thats it.. i measured.. 37.7 in the begginning.. whats the funny part is... 2nd time i measure.. 38.7... and last time i measured.. 39.7.. what the heck? i eat medicine.. and its shoot up.. but luckily.. its stopped.. and i recovered after a sleep..actually having badminton this morning.. all ruined.. haiz.. actually yesterday i felt sleepy and wick.. but thought nothing should happened.. but i am wrong.. luckily... the illness didnt dragged.. but now i damn hungry >.<... who willing to buy lunch for me.. i will be grateful to that person.. haiz.. nobody at home.. i sick in the wrong timing... nothing much going to happen.. so thats all.. still abit weak.. but guess should be alright.. so good bye.....
Ended the storytelling at -->4:09 PM
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Finally.. have the energy to blog.. as i said.. work as a salesperson selling perfume as a project at marine parade.. anyway.. today is the third and the last day.. well.. they fired me... ya.. they finally take the initiative to fire me.. i knew this was going to happen.. this few day open laptop and on it awhile.. and i switch off and go sleep. way too tired.. now.. i have whole 2 week to rest.. i dont know what to do.. i have a big gap for the school fee... i just very troubled now.. haiz.. if let me choose.. i rather choose a job which is hardwork only but at least a stable income.. borned with a weak mind.. so thats the consequences i got to face.. i so hope i could actually stay on and learn more.. but well.. thats it.. think wont see those friend i know anymore.. not going to go back there.. i have made a fool of myself staying there.. now.. as i said 2 week.. i dont know how to spend.. should i just stay at home sleep.. let my everything take break.. everyday keep think.. come to think of it.. actually have a long long time didnt really rest well... can say i very emotional.. or easily depressed.. but.. i dont know what to do about it..
Stop all the crap liao.. about my personal life.. well.. nothing much changed.. my heart keep pounded on every girl i knew.. which is my type.. and i dont know which kind is love.. which kind is envy.. i dont know at all.. but still i got to act up.. why i everyday got to act up a feeling which its not mine.. and i wondered when i really will lose my temper.. to those who really dont understand me.. i keep quiet.. as i am really that quiet... ya.. hope those people really think that way.. instead think that i just bored so keep quiet.. ahh.. why i keep so emotional today... okay.. really need to stop and rest.. so got more time to think.. so cya.....
Ended the storytelling at -->8:02 PM
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Hi again.. haha.. today.. or should say yesterday.. we got a new project to do.. not charity this time.. but a promoter.. well.. quite happy.. i been a promoter.. and i feel its fun.. haha.. rejection is common rather than seeing rejection to charity.. feel great.. haha.. anyway.. i dont know i could do well anot.. actually its involved in something special which was lectured today when i suddenly recieved a call that we had a meeting to go.. and its compulsory to everyone involved.. so whole company was there at farrer park.. i realized that i actually very good at finding places even though i didnt go before.. haha.. well.. people said i got leadership capablities.. but i think not.. but always when something happened... i was there to give solution or lead people.. does that consider? haha.. well stop saying about it.. so tomorrow.. there will be 2 shift this time.. since lots of people work together.. but unlucky is.. i was separated with others.. i mean all.. but luckily there is chee leong.. phew.. i though i am the only 1 in afternoon shift. lucky.. haha.. tomorrow going marine parade there le.. booth stuff.. quite complicated.. so not going to explain..
Actually fate really is funny.. lets see.. i saw xue qi at farrer park.. which actually we went to the exit C ( Lots of exits there) and then recieved a call.. and i saw her.. lol.. its amazing met her in that place.. well.. what i mean is.. we lived in woodlands.. but rather meeting there.. we meet outside which is strange to saw her.. its like meeting huiying at orchard road.. such a busy street also can see it.. when i was with the team... and wei wen at interchange.. lol... alot of coincidence.. but happened in strange places.. well.. actually singapore is a small place.. but why like this? well. who knows.. fate is just really a funny things as i said.. tortured me like hell sometime.. and sometime give me sweet to let me flavour my life.. haha.. okay.. stopped here for now.. tomorrow work liao if not tired blogged again.. but work stopped at 10pm.. haiz.. 3.30pm start.. lol.. can sleep long.. but journey so far.. think still need to be early wake up abit.. haha.. okay la.. good night and sweet dream to those who willing to visit my blog.. especially Derick ^^.....
Ended the storytelling at -->2:28 AM
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Hi.. sorry for late blogging.. yesterday wanted to wait for my mother.. but in the end i fall asleep way early.. haha.. anyway.. while.. today i can blog in morning because its off day. which is sudden and i just know it in morning.. because actually yesterday joseph already called me.. but i was ZzZ.. haha.. so well.. mornign see the message.. then.. i fall asleep.. haha.. just came back home after having breakfast with jack and chee leong.. lol.. they 2 dont know got work.. because actually is me being the messager.. but well.. for apologise.. i go with them.. okay.. stop for the morning story.. lets see.. yesterday..
A very sunny day.. hmm... actually.. i dont want to go de.. as.. i just dont feel like going because my skin... i want have fun without restraint.. but then.. everyone persuade without knowing the reason.. haiz.. but in the end i go because yeu and leong wont go if i dont go.. which might cause the outing cancelled as jack will also never go.. haiz.. no choice.. reached there by bus.. whole bus journey never sleep at all. chatting with leong.. then beach time... haha.. when we find spot.. slowly 1 by 1 throw into water by the leaders.. starting from the girls.. well.. should know why.. anyway.. i didnt been throw in. because my skin.. its obvious already.. thats why i keep say dont want to come.. haiz.. but in the end i saw them play so fun.. i cant bear in but walk into water.. haha.. play here and there.. anyway have as much fun as possible.. then.. basketball time... but being sub out because joseph want to play. haiz.. just score in only then being sub.. so sad.. anyway whole day quite enjoyed. nothing much else... just need to bear the consequences.. the pain.. haiz.. so sad with the illness that costed the fun.. haiz.. okay stopped here.. finally use the comp for full day.. must use it. before my brother spoilt it again... till then.....
Ended the storytelling at -->11:11 AM
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Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Lots to say.. No time to blog..
Hi.. long time no see i suppose.. ya.. really tiring this recently.. go home dropped flat on bed and ZzZ.. but actually.. not working at all.. cant believe right? but well.. its true.. well..
First is at friday.. which i got a doctor appointment which i actually overslept it.. when its at 2pm. thats amazing me right? haha.. well.. no choice i got to change it... so next month then see again.. after that heard they celebrating.. i no mood to go.. so i didnt go.. well sorry to those who wanted me to go like janine and i yeu.. very sorry about it.. i am a weird boy after all...
Second.. ya.. this day i got work.. at saturday.. which worked as promoter this time.. helping sell perfume... hmm.. feel great.. promoting stuffs is fun... but... bad things is.. my leader no mood to pitch.. and so? they suggested slack whole day... and i cant pitch.. feel so bad.. and no pay of course.. freak... my pay is already damn low.. now more low..
Okay.. here come monday... new project time!! and i guessed it right.. only briefing and no start work.. and so... another pay day gone... so sad now.. and i was called to the team outing.. which i wanted to escaped but cant.. haiz.. play lan then play pool.. haha.. i so blurred that actually i can win kian hui and janine the better ones unlike me and chee leong.. the 2 newbies there.. but i made it lose because i pick up the wrong ball when foul occured.. i too blurred -.- so thus.. we lose.. my fault.. but last game i played.. i win it.. i hit the black ball it which nobody guessed i can do it.. hey.. i got potential 1 okay? i last time quite good de lehz.. lol.. anyway.. quite fun.. and we had basketball game afterward.. haha.. finally can play.. but of course.. deproved due to long period of non-playing mood.. freak.. but still can shoot in nice 1 and layup a unexpected score.. told you not to look down on my skill.. haha...
Today.. dammit.. the whole company which included all the branches.. kanna scolded and banned for the new project.. haiz.. another pay day off.. and a week salary gone!! sad like hell.. in morning go there being scolded.. but learned alot.. but still so sad.. go back office.. played lame game.. and learned new pitch for another new project.. again.. tomorrow off.. which supposely today.. and they planned to go sentosa.. i dont wish to go.. because of my skin.. but.. i will caused 3 of my friends not going.. so. cant bring them down due to me.. so no choice.. got to go.. now blogging.. and feel the pain in my throat.. haiz.. sick liao.. die liao.. tomorrow dont know what to do sia.. haiz.. okay la.. stopped here.. time flew past.....
Ended the storytelling at -->2:07 AM
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