Friday, September 28, 2007
Cowardly Cat.. Happy Belated Birthday to JANINE!!
Hi blog... Haiz.. so "early" in the morning i blog. Am i consider a hardwork guy or actually just mere coincidence that when i wanna blog its just happened to be this timing. Haha.
Well, lets talk about the OT i had, its a kind of job i like it! With 1 group in a room and trying to reach for a target which no personal greeds happened and no slackers. To slack early than anyone else outside the room! Its feel so good. Although its tough, but its totally fun, can move around, can talk, can separate tasks and most importantly. Everyone made a important role that day. Thats the kind job i always want. Haha.. But well, only once. Crave for more such jobs. Hee~
Went home early, after having breakfast at macdonald with usual gang. Went home cant use internet!! The bill is not paid yet. (Until now still cant use, for unknown reason) sianz. Then i decided to spent my time to do some surprises to my birthday girl today. But, after i done it, i dont dare to use it. Freaking coward against girls... Haiz...
Fan Logging off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->4:55 AM
=========================
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Hi blog... Late again. Though i can before 12 send this post. But still late.. Anyway today is an Off day and tomorrow is an OT day! Lol.. happy cause got money. Well, who dont happy? But what so happy is as this time is draw lot. Then i luckily got an OT. Super happy. But sad leong cant get it. Haiz..
Today morning played basketball with the same gang. Nothing much but getting lousy. Never mind, i will be back =D. Hmm.. Actually nothing much to say, or maybe because i am tired. So thats all =D
Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->11:54 PM
=========================
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Things happened.. things solved..
Hi blog.. Again a late blogging, haiz. Well, cant blame as all the well i was sleeping. =D
Anyway, today nothing much happened, but giving advices to my troubled friend. The trouble i shall not say. But i just happy i helped a friend successfully again. Haha.
Its so bored if not working. If really everyday working, and i work with my 7 friends. Its really very fortunate. Just leave 2 day of rest also never mind. Haha.
Hmm, shall not continue since nothing much happened.
This is for Siang Yee =D
Siang Yee answer:
1. (the person who tagged you is)
- Mingfan
2. (your relationship with him/her is)
- buddy!!
3. (5 impressions you have of him/her)
- cute,chubby,emotional,easy-going and VIOLENT!!!
4. (the most memorable thing he/she has done for you)
- mmmm, treating mi to bubble tea and offered a hand whenever I need help
5. (the most memorable words he/she has said to you)
- THANK YOU PAPA!!! LOL
6. (if he/she becomes your lover, you will)
- XIAO!! I guy, so tis case is impossible
7. (if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be)
- DIAO!!
8. (if he/she becomes your enemy, you will)
- Burn his house, beat the hell out of him, screw him, throw him into yellow river..(jus kidding, making a friend is more better than making a enemy)
9. (if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be)
- errr, step on my pride or do something I really really hate...
10. (the most desirable thing you want to do for him/her now is)
- giving him a drawing of us and say"u r a great fren) LOL!!!
11. (your overall impression of him/her is)
- can can la...haha
12. (how you think people around you will feel about you)
- me? I gonecase, so no need to feel for mi..LOL
13. (the characteristic you love about yourself is)
- huh? do I have to fill this? well, I guess I'm normal, so no special characteristics. I guess the only characteristics I love is I am able to behave in my own way.
14. (the characteristic you hate about yourself is)
- Haha, can't say, maybe dun have..LOL
15. (the most ideal person you want to be is)
- Mr J lim
16. (for people that care and like you, say something to them)
- Thank you! I love u all..
My answer to him:
1. (the person who tagged you is)
- Siang yee
2. (your relationship with him/her is)
- Not relative, not friend but something that is damn important in my life =D
3. (5 impressions you have of him/her)
- Idiotic look, laugh alot, funny man, great actor, freaking good imagination, this the most important the best artist in my friends and alot PPL!!
4. (the most memorable thing he/she has done for you)
- Be with me when i am sad and did nothing but accompany.
5. (the most memorable words he/she has said to you)
- "I of course is your buddy!"
6. (if he/she becomes your lover, you will)
- Help him study till he get distinction
7. (if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be)
- stop the freaking imagination =X
8. (if he/she becomes your enemy, you will)
- Simple, Hell is your next home
9. (if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be)
- Think too much nonsenses =D
10. (the most desirable thing you want to do for him/her now is)
- Show his artwork to my other friends!!
11. (your overall impression of him/her is)
- Is a really damn good buddy.
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->1:44 AM
=========================
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Hi blog.. late in night, again is the next day. But this post meant for the previous day. Haiz.. Anyway, lets talk about what just happened.
I made it to the gathering smoothly. They changed the venue to Cavana. Well, at least saved more money than i at pizza hut. But as expected, the quietest is me, the most uncloseness 1 also me. So sad. Not i dont want to talk, but dont know what to talk. Cause i somehow is suddenly being discovered, unlike they all, they all still got meet up and somemore most of them same poly. I the only TP and just a year 2 student. Plus my poor memory. Haiz.. I really too anti social. If people dont talk to me, i surely wont open my mouth. So pathetic.
Lol.. Anyway i still miss them alot. But if got more people, its really fun. 1 more extra things. They actually remembered who i am, yet i dont know them =X Poor them being my long lost friends.
Tomorrow not working, dont know do what. Haiz, someone out there better call me out =D
Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->12:27 AM
=========================
Friday, September 21, 2007
Stupid Brain... (Chained Questionaires below)
Hi blog... Its so early for me to blog isn't it? But well, sometime is not what i really want to but the situation caused me to. Lol.. Don't understand also never mind, just crapping my way to extend the blog. But well, this might be a long post after all....
Actually today should be an OT day for me, but i pushed it away to let others. Reason? A 6G gathering is going to happen tonight!! Yet, after I am so excited about it, i suddenly regret now. I don't know how to face them later, plus the cost i gonna spent (Pizza Hut) FREAK!!
I do miss them, yet i cant part the money. The thinking of I lost $109.50 making me damn sad now. But i trying to cover it as. "Its worth the money to meet your long long lost friends." But what if its not worth it. Am i thinking too much again? Definitely i am.
Now how? Feel like calling my group leader at the workplace and say i wanna work. Lol. But no! I must meet them, now lets pray a smooth and worthy gathering i going to have. Must have an anticipating mindset.
Now thinking of my old friends. Recently met is Li hui, which she is the one let me contact up with the rest of the 6Gs. Aeris, Tracy, Gui Xiang, Philip. All these are my really good friends when in Qihua. There still more, but just scold my seriously deteriorated memory.. Aww.. Although P6 is 1 of the most tormented period i spent. But well, still miss them.
Suddenly talk about the past -.-. Now should try prepare to sleep. I am way too exhausted to blog more, but the fingers are not stopping its "dancing' on its keyboard. Lol. Okay la stop crapping now. Its really way too long =X
Oh ya, 1 more things.. This been going around for long in the blogger world. Although i hate this kind of stuff, but this interested me =X So i do it.
1. (the person who tagged you is)
- Janine
2. (your relationship with him/her is)
- Work and School Mate (Quite cool =D)
3. (5 impressions you have of him/her)
- Perfectionist, easy to make fun of, very intelligent person, a very terrific english-speaker,"cannot make it" chinese-speaker =X
4. (the most memorable thing he/she has done for you)
- Being a great study partner.
5. (the most memorable words he/she has said to you)
- "hey mingfan!" (Actually thats what appear in my mind =X)
6. (if he/she becomes your lover, you will)
- Learn high level english to match her status.
7. (if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be)
- Make me talk more
8. (if he/she becomes your enemy, you will)
- Newspaper headline : "Janine Mistery disappearance" =X
9. (if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be)
- When the only way to describe her is "evil"
10. (the most desirable thing you want to do for him/her now is)
- Bring her to see Tay Ping Hui (Although i dont know how)
11. (your overall impression of him/her is)
- Fun to be with but blur blur =X
12. (how you think people around you will feel about you)
- 2 types: Sec friends and others think i am cheerful, helpful but stupid.
Poly friends think i am a genius but acting stupid, cool and helpful.
13. (the characteristic you love about yourself is)
- The Need for perfections
14. (the characteristic you hate about yourself is)
- Think too lowly about myself
15. (the most ideal person you want to be is)
- What my future wife want me to be =D
16. (for people that care and like you, say something to them)
- I am so sorry!! Cause.. no repay!!
17. (pass this quiz to people that you wish to know how they feel about you)
- 1.Janine!! (since you the 1 make me start =D)
2.Siangyee!!
3.Justin
4.Si Ni
5.I yeu
6.Any blogger that is my friends
7.Lastly, any friends who visited my blog!! MUST AND PLEASE!! =DDDD Although no blog.
Please finish it and blog it in your blog. Haha =D
Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->10:00 AM
=========================
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Hi blog... Now is really very late, later on got an exam which i should be nervous but i not. Yet i dont know why i wanna blog since i have nothing happened this recently. No nonsenses to write too. Might as well just type down what going on later on.
Having a Supplementary paper later on since i got a fail. Siang yee came my house yesterday to study. And now left me alone to study but nothing gone inside. Just hope my memory wont fail me this time round. Since this is really a serious stuff. After the exam going for work. So its going to be a hell for me later on. 1 word to say: "Tired!!" Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->4:01 AM
=========================
Monday, September 17, 2007
Hi blog... As usual, cant sleep already and so i blog. Kind of like a habit, good stuffs, bad stuffs, nonsenses, boring so on. But well, its saved me alot, alot of good to be exact. Glad someone created you and someone let me into you.
Actually, really cant sleep, when i am free. I tend to just anyhow think, like.. what should i do next? What should i need to improve? How to let others understand me more? Why i did this and that? etc... Kind of lame, no.. Kind of stupid.
I suddenly remembered when i wanna get friends...
I remembered that in past, when i was really young, i was really quiet, those starting already is my friends, dont know why they will in the first place, but yet i didnt see them anymore after we grow up. Guess when we grow up, they tend to find friends that worth for them unlike me...
Then in secondary school, being bullied, being laughed , the life that let me see how sad its goes on. I healed, with laughter thats not mine. Actually cause i think they dont like me because i too quiet to let them laugh or somethings. So i changed in secondary 3, i laugh, i talk more. Its turned out so good, i really know alot of friends although this tactic doesnt worked on all. Some still dont know why dont befriend me, but well... Didnt think about consequences, i matured earlier than others cause of my life, i start to think more yet others still in growing up in mentality. I start to get hurt, and i start to regret.
Ya ya, stupid isnt it. If I just stay quiet, lonely. A face of "dont talk to me" who will befriend me, i kind of like that way now actually. But i cant change the fact i been living that way for 6 years, its not like i can change now. Now whatever change i try to made, more friend will leave me, and more they think i just doing somethign stupid. haiz... Kind of sad life i living.
Dont worry, not i suddenly realized something or something bad happened. I just a person who just wanna type out what i think now. Hope you dont mind. Again write so many nonsenses, okay stop here. Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->2:07 AM
=========================
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Hi blog... Been missing for few days, apologise and i missing for few days again. Guess the work really make me exhausted, but no choice, i need to work as much as possible. Need to earn the money and make myself live better, at least continue my study so and that. Pathetic...
These few days just working, nothing happened. Happy or sad? Anyway, only got 2 day of resting so hope i faster recharge myself and go for it. Short post today blog since nothing much happened so.... Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->11:15 PM
=========================
Friday, September 14, 2007
Hi blog... As usual, when typing this, i am totally exhausted, from the work and the sleep. What for? Money. Haiz..
Anyway, got an OT as i said and i earned that OT so easily. What i mean? Cause i totally got nothing to do and i can walk around to chat with my friends. So happily, but i guess there no second chance.. too bad.. After the work we went to play basketball and i am so frustrated on the rate of my decreasing in skill. I don't know when i got an improvement. I am so sad, i mean why just a not playing for awhile, i just get more lousier than others. Although they also getting suck but not as much as mine. Sickening.
My mood is still unstable, suddenly sad, suddenly happy. Dont know what to do with it. How shouldi treat my friends now is still a question. Haiz. Stop bothered by those. Got a good and a bad news to share.
I got back my result, is the best result i got!
Energy Audit B+
Business Continuity Management F
Building Sensors and Actuators B+
Networking Fundamentals A
Computer Programming Distinction
Introduction to Language & Culture (Japanese) B
bad news is.. I GOT A FAIL!!! Its so freak la the business. Sianz, supplementary paper coming soon and i thought i got a GPA of 3.5 above, just gone. REGRET OF NOT STUDYING!!! But actually should laugh le, didnt study so much i got so nice grade but a fail is really so sad. Haiz.... Fan Signing off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->2:15 AM
=========================
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
In the midst of nothing..
Hi blog... In the middle of the night, or day? lol.. Anyway i dont know why i wanna blog, cant sleep. Then i decided to blog, see what my mind thinking and i jot down.
Actually just finished my game with i yeu, previously, should be 1.24am was outside with derick till 2.43am. Cause he just wake up and so i accompany him go eat. I dont know why i still did all those with friends.
Am i okay with them already? Actually if now they really did some change for me, just some little change, its could so much great stuffs to me. But i think its not going, out of 100 plus friends... who treat me well, who treat me okay who treat me bad. Out of those... who sincerely think i am their friends, who just think we know each other and who really think i am a thorn of flesh to them. Its so sickening that i always think so much. Really.. If i could choose, i know none of them would be really great. Why I wanna have friends when they keep hurt me. Maybe really alone could be fine. Play games with strangers, cause even strangers also know how good i am in the game. Alone, i wont have to act to myself....
Truly, but since i know them now and i cant change the fact i cant past my days nicely without them. But i know the consequences, disappointment followed by another continously. Cant blame me for saying so much, cause who tell me i am so sensitive, way more sensitive than my friends out there and i am way more multi-thinker than average. Thats fact.... Fan Signing off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->4:20 AM
=========================
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Hi blog... Sorry for the absent, cause i am too tired to blog since i working in a motorola now, night shift of 12 hours. Means when reach home must straight away sleep to prepared for the next shift. But well, its really different, whether got job or not. I cant say its boring, although its tiring, i have my fun. Short post cause i dont know what to say, maybe night since i having off today but an OT next day >.< Fan Logging Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->12:01 PM
=========================
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Hi blog... This the new clothes i designed for you!! But some matters got to say out....
First, have to apologise to my visitor as i frustrated my feelings. Those who think i quite cheerful, surely will be disappointed this time. Secondly, i showed my childish side, and lastly missing for alot of days. Was in midst of so call "healing my injury". But some sort, i still didnt change anything. My friends still doing the same things to me, none still understand me. I guess they sure think i am joking for angry with them. But i guess, in my life, i cant find anybody understand me at all. Nah, i not going to complain anymore. Since this my life, and i already sick of putting in effort on things which i totally cant change anything.
I found a job in motorola, this should be the fourth time i trying to get in and i finally success. But i arent that happy, i having headache up till now. Its been a week, i quite scared, mom said its just the heatness, but its been so long. But no money and mood to go see a doctor. Just hope its like what my mom say.
Future? Maybe i just continue act on, the stupid mingfan who always so kind to let others use. Thats all. My life. My future. But still i will be always happy, cause i lost none of my friends. Thats at least the important part of my life. Well, thats the stupid me ^^ Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->1:04 AM
=========================
Saturday, September 01, 2007
Maybe everyone just acting on outside to me...
Hi blog... I don't know why i blogging the second time, no the third time its just that I just want to blog out everything. Maybe, after all i just fated to be loner? I just scolded my friends just now, for accusing me. Right, i not that sick, must i sick until i faint then got people concern me? I got gastric pain for goodness sick.
Why nobody just understand me, why i don't have friends that i ever want. Its like the world crushing on me now, financially, personal, relationship.. Everything!!! I cant believe what i typing now. "Do you wanna go back to your past?" i screaming that in my brain... Yeah, in past i didn't even try to mask my feelings that much and i got so much problem. Yet i now tired of masking totally 100%, being the damn good guys and is totally useless. I am totally tired....
The friendship i get is externally good not internally. How come when i am alone without friends, my mind won't think i am fine and is i am so lonely. Cause i totally dont have a true friend? if not why my mind think that way. Am I talking rubbish? "Just come and beat me up , wake me up and leave me there alone." Freaking lots of sentences just appeared.
So if i want fun, cheer up kinds i could find those friends. But if i sad and i don't need happy but concern, who can i find.
I am tired of always explaining why i not happy about this or that when they keep doing the same things over and over again!!
I don't want MSN concern, i don't want phone conversation. I want friends who could actually came over to my house and care about me!
Yes i am acting childish. I going back to the past. But no matter is past or now. Both aren't me. So who am i? Fan Tearing off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->3:28 AM
=========================
Hi blog... I really whole day stuck in home. Do nothing, online suft net, sleep. Until now, what i do today nothing is good. I am so bored....
Actually, after so many years. I learnt how to trust people. Believe in them. But 1 followed by another. Betrayed my trust, betrayed my feeling, betrayed what i though of you. Its making me harder and harder to believe people, trust people and even say my secrets now. Even my best friends always have something dont say to me and lies is always what i heard. I am not stupid okay. Just be honest, not like i going to angry.
So am i really have no best friends which i could pour my woes, and he do the same? Can i have a friends who always help me when i in trouble or bad moods. Why in my life none have appeared? Am i just that detestable? When can i just gain trust? When all my effort wont just gone down to drain. I just hate myself more and more. I feel like staying in home for the rest of the holiday. If not because money, i will surely never go out. I dont want fun anymore, i just want a friend who could accompany me. I have so much to share, those who listened dont share his. Is it fair to me?
Cant blame me now, i no more want to share my secrets anymore, either i get laughed or i get betrayed. I am so scared i gonna get lonely soon. So many stuffs already make me at the border of crazy and normal. Sooner or later, i will cross to the crazy side.... Fan Signing Off.....
Ended the storytelling at -->12:56 AM
=========================
